Criminal Minds The Haunted Memory
by KimOfDrac
Summary: Sequel to Criminal Minds - The Gentleman must read first. Takes place a few months after. Bella's past is affecting the team, and most of all Reid. It'll be a unique and unforgetable case. Might have M rated chapters!
1. Chapter 1

"_You're sick of feeling numb  
You're not the only one  
I'll take you by the hand  
And I'll show you a world that you can understand  
This life is filled with hurt  
When happiness doesn't work  
Trust me and take my hand  
When the lights go out you will understand"_

-Pain by Three Days Grace

A beeping cellphone made Bella jump, as she sat on the red plush couch in the bright purple livingroom, reading a book Spencer had recommended. She looked over at the oak chest with drawes in the hallway, where her silver colored phone let out a blue light. She got up and the pink striped pajama pants fell down slightly at the bottom, almost covering her bare feet.

She walked over the yellow fluffy carpet and grabbed it. _3 Missed calls_.

She frowned as she found it strange she hadn't heard any of the calls. Maybe she had accidently put it on vibration.

As she flipped the phone open, she also noticed someone had left a message on her voicemail. She figured it was Spencer, and smiled as she called her voicemail.

"_Hello Belinda..." _her smile faded and terror flooded through her body. _"... daddy misses his little girl..."_

The phone fell to the floor and Bella stood there, shivering in shock for several minutes, before she slid down the wall and onto the floor in tears. Reaching for the phone with a shaking had, she wondered who to call. She didn't want to be there all by herself.

Taking a deep breath, she looked up Penelope in the phonebook and pressed _Call_. It took a few seconds for her to answer.  
"Penelope... I don't want to be alone, can I... Can I come?" she sobbed.

--------

Reid got very surprised when he saw Bella hurry down the hall and open the glass doors to the bulpen.

He was about to say hi, but she hurried past him, towards Garcia's office.  
"Does girls do that alot?" he asked. Morgan looked over at the door where Bella had just entered and shrugged.  
"Probably some girl problems" he said, taking a sip of his coffee. Reid took it for that and turned his attention back to his file. "... But, uh, she did look upset" Morgan continued.

Reid looked up again.

"At... At me?" Reid asked. Again, Morgan shrugged.  
"I'm not a mind reader, Reid. Did you do something that would upset her?"

Reid slowly shook his head.  
"I don't think so..."

Morgan walked up to him and put a hand on his shoulder.  
"Then it's probably something else, kid"

-------

"Bella, are you sure?" Penelope asked. Bella was pacing back and forth in the small office, obviously freaking out.  
"Yes, call the voicemail yourself... But don't make me hear his voice again"

Bella sat down on the floor, leaning her back against the wall. She pulled her legs up and rested her forhead against her knees.

Penelope looked at her with worry, before she picked up the phone that Bella had thrown at her desk the minute she'd walked in there.

After a minute or two, Penelope slowly put the phone back down and sighed.  
"Maybe you should tell the police..." Penelope began, but Bella shook her head.  
"No... I mean I've got you, right, and... And I'll be safe"

She got up and started to pace back and forth again.  
"Bella, I'm not allowed to carry a gun... Maybe you should at least tell Spencer about-"

"No!" Bella snapped and stared at her cousin. "I can't tell him abot this, because then I'll have to tell him why and I... I just can't..."

There was a moment of silence, before penelope spoke.  
"Do you want me to do it for you?"

Bella's bottom lip shivered, and Penelope noticed her eyes were glazed.  
"Penny it's not that, I just... I don't want him to think of me as weak"

She looked away. Garcia wrapped her arms around her.  
"He would never do that, he's crazy about you" she said quietly. Bella pulled away and looked into her cousin's eyes.  
"Could you see if you could trace the number and see if... How long I've got... I mean... If he's close"

It wasn't exactly a question, but Penelope understood Bella wanted some time to prepare for what to tell the man she was in love with. She nodded.  
"Give me a second, alright" she said softly and typed in the phone number on her computer. It took a little over a minute to find it's location.

"So... Where is he?" Bella asked in a whisper, looking down at the floor. Penelope turned around in her seat and looked at her cousin.

"Texas... I don't think you should worry, but you have to tell Spence"

Bella nodded and took a deep breath, wiping her eyes, before she looked at Penelope.  
"How do I look?"

Penelope smiled and let her eyes trace the white heels, light, stonewashed jeans, the bright cerise top and large silver earrings, before she nodded.

"Terrific" she said and shooed Bella out of there. "Now smile for your lover boy, I bet he's worried since you just ran past him and burst into my office"

Bella shook her head and giggled a little, before she left her cousin's office.

-------

Reid was busy talking to Morgan, and didn't notice that Bella was sneaking up on him with a finger pressed to her lips as she looked at Morgan. He smirked and pretended he didn't see her.  
"Boo!"

She wrapped her arms around Reid's shoulders and giggled. He jumped and turned his head to look at her.  
"Christ, Bella you scared me" he chuckled.  
"Well, that was my plan" she said and gave him a quick kiss, before plopping down on his lap.  
"Are you okay?" he asked her, and she looked at him in surprise.  
"Yes, I'm fine. Girl problems" she answered, and Morgan pointed at Reid.  
"Told ya"

Reid just shook his head and wrapped an arm around Bella's waist.

"So... No case today?" Bella asked, putting her hair up in a pony tail. Reid shook his head.  
"Nope"

"You're in here, Bella, we're watchin' ya, the world is safe" Morgan joked, causing her to stick her tongue out at him.  
"Watch out, Morgan, she bites" Reid said and Morgan covered his ears.  
"Oh, man, I don't want to hear that"

Both Reid and Bella laughed at him and Bella playfully snapped her jaws at him.

The bulpen was something special. Usually the minimalistic design would scare her, but everytime she entered the building in Quantico, she could relax, and maybe it was all because she finally felt she belonged somewhere.


	2. Chapter 2

"_How can I ignore,  
The shadows on my soul  
Secrets everywhere,  
I'm losing self control  
Let the future turn to past,  
Timeless Demons in My Mind"_

-Save Me by Martin Kesici

_Thunder and lightening awakes a nine year old girl. She finds her father inside her room.  
"Daddy I'm scared"_

_He walks up to her bed and lay down beside her, under the covers.  
"Shh"_

_Hands touching, hurting. No, she don't want to. A hand covering her mouth and she cries._

"_Please dad, no"_

"_Daddy loves his little girl"_

Bella sat up in bed, staring into outer space, panting, as she realised it was a dream. Her body was shaking and her heart was beating hard and fast.

The memories from her nightmare returned and she curled up in her bed, crying. After so many years, why was it coming back to her? Why?

The lights were turned on and Penelope rushed inside.  
"Bella, you were screaming, are you okay?"

Bella shook her head.

"It's all coming back" she whispered between sobs, her face hidden behind her knees. Penelope sat down next to her on the bed.  
"He can't hurt you here, Bella... I promise you that"

Bella nodded.  
"The dreams does, though"

Penelope didn't know what to say.

"Do you want me to call Spence?"

Bella shook her head.  
"No... I'm sorry I woke you up, I'll be fine"

-------

Somehow, Penelope doubted that, and she wondered if she should betray her cousin and tell Reid what was going on.

As much as Penelope felt it wasn't right to leave Bella at home alone after a sleepless night with memories she just wanted to forget, she had to go to work.

She straightened her red dress with little white polka dots and looked closer into the mirror as she applied her bright red lipstick.

"If you need me, Bella, I'm just a phone call away, you know that, right?" she said and put her blonde curls up in a messy bun.

Bella nodded while looking through the newspaper.

"I know, Penny. I'll be alright though" she said, not looking up. Penelope looked at her through the mirror and sighed.  
"Okay... And Bella" Penelope began and entered the kitchen. Her white heels clicking against the wooden floor. "... I'm not going to lie to Spencer"

Bella looked up and their eyes met.  
"I haven't asked you to. All I want is to wait until I'm ready to tell him about what happened..."

Penelope nodded and grabbed her white fake leather purse.

"Alright. He'll probably call you anyways. Try to get some sleep"

Bella nodded and stood up to give her cousin a hug, before Penelope left, leaving Bella all alone.

She brought her mug of coffee with her into the livingroom and turned on the TV. Wrapping the brightly patterned blanket around her, she watched the re-runs of Friends and slowly felt herself drift off to sleep.

-------

"Still no case?" Garcia asked as she entered the bulpen. Reid was the only one there, as always, but she figured Morgan would come soon.

Reid shrugged.  
"Not yet"

Garcia nodded and sat down next to him with a papermug of coffee. Reid could see something was out of the ordinary.

"You okay?"

She looked up at him as if she'd been in a daze and smiled.  
"Yes, I'm fine... It's just..."

She sighed. She had promised not to tell him.  
"What?" he asked, gently putting his hand on hers.

"Well... Bella had a nightmare and she couldn't sleep after that and it feels wrong to leave her alone..."

Reid bit his lip.  
"Just... Just a nightmare?" Garcia nodded. "Everyone's got nightmares, Garcia"

Again, she nodded.

"I know, but..." she stopped and decided it wasn't her place to tell him. "... I've always been a little over protective of her, I guess"

Reid smiled and rubbed her hand with his thumb.

"That's your thing, Garcia. You're a caring person"

She raised an eyebrow and chuckled.  
"No statistics about nightmares or about family being over protective of it's own kind?"

Reid pressed his lips together and shook his head.  
"Nope"

-------

There was a phone ringing in the distance. Bella slowly opened her eyes and reached for it on the coffee table. Without looking at who it was calling her, she flipped it open and answered.  
"Yeah?" she said drousily.

"Belinda?"

Her eyes flew open and she stared out in the open. Her hand was cramping as her muscles tightened around the phone, and her body was shaking. It was as if she was paralyzed, and all that was moving was the silent tear that rolled down her cheek.

"Daddy just want to hear your voice, princess..."

She shut her eyes closed and sat straight up, throwing the phone as hard as she could into the wall, bursting into tears.

"No! Damn you, damn you, leave me alone!"

She thought the phone would break in two, like in the movies, but it just lay there, shining with it's blue light.

Bella ran, as if the phone was a demon she had to hide from. She locked herself in the bathroom and slid down to the floor, sobbing hystericly.

She went quiet as she heard the front door open, covering her mouth, shaking with fear.

She heard steps walk into the livingroom and then nothing.

A few seconds later she heard steps leave again, and the front door close.

Gasping, as she had held her breath, she tried to calm down. It was quiet.

She slowly stood up.

There was a shadow outside the bubbly bathroom window and she screamed her lungs out, unlocking the door, she ran into the appartment, locking the front door and went to get her phone, but... It was gone.

Her heart was beating so fast she thought it'd explode, as she entered the kitchen and grabbed the house phone, sliding to the floor, dialing Penelope's number.


	3. Chapter 3

_"This is making me crazy  
These black clouds following me  
So I look for signs of light, but rarely I see them _

_I return to my shelter and I crawl in a bottle  
I'm losing my will for this, so over-emotional  
Black clouds, they rain down, but they can't kill the sun"_

-Black Clouds by Papa Roach

-------

"Honey, his phone is still in Texas" Garcia explained as she watched the blinking red dot on her screen.  
_"What about my phone? He took it..."_

Garcia typed again and sighed.  
"It's still at home... Bella, you must have had a dream"

Bella was quiet, but Garcia could hear her sniffle.

"_I'm sure I heard someone walk in here"_

Garcia nodded.  
"Okay, I'll see if the surveillance cameras outside has a good shot at the appartment, but that's all I can do, sweetie"

Bella sighed.  
_"Okay..."_

Garcia typed freneticly and looked through the last half-hour of footage, filming at least the entrance to their house.

"Honey... The only one there is the mail man"

"_But I hear__d someone walk in here... I saw someone at the window" _Bella said firmly. Garcia sighed.  
"Well, maybe there's a package too big to fit the post box and you just didn't hear him knocking before he got in" There was a moment of silence.  
_"Well... There are some letters here... flyers.... you're right, there is a package here"_

Garcia nodded.  
"Right. Don't worry, honey, they're just memories. Look under the couch, I'm sure the phone slid under there. I have to go"

-------

"So... Have you and Bella moved past the dating stage yet?" Morgan asked, as they had lunch in the room a few feet outside the bulpen. Reid shrugged.  
"I'm not sure what is going on to be exact..."

"But you're drooling after her like a bulldog spotting a juicy beef"

Reid frowned.  
"I wouldn't put it like that"

Morgan chuckled.

"Come on, man. You love that girl"

Reid smiled a little and felt his face heat up.  
"Yeah... I think I do" he said, pouring ketchup over his french fries.

"So show her"

Reid let ot a sigh and shrugged.  
"I don't know how. I don't want her to think I'm clingy or anything..."

Morgan chuckled and took a sip of his Dr Pepper.

"Reid, my man... If Bella's anything like her cousin, you need to take her to a café, buy her a vanilla latte and a cupcake, give her a flower and tell her straight out"

Reid raised an eyebrow.  
"You took Garcia on a date?"

Morgan smirked.  
"No... but she told me that's what she wanted her prince charming to do, whenever he showed up. I told Kevin, and apparently it worked"

Reid bit his lip and furrowed his eyebrows as he considered it.  
"I'll think of something" Reid mumbled, nodding, mostly to himself.

-------

Bella spent the next few hours on the couch, drinking rum and coke, while she watched Sponge Bob. The show was so much better in her slightly drunken state. She had found her phone under a pillow that had fallen on the floor, and figured the only way to keep herself from going totally nuts was to get drunk.

The housephone rang, and she groaned, getting annoyed by the constant phonecalls that were haunting her.

She stumbled into the kitchen and answered it.

"Pewelope Garcia's unpaid private secratary" she answered and giggled at her own greeting.  
_"Uhm... Bella?" _

"Spenceeey, how're you doin this afternoon?"

There were a few seconds of silence.

"_Blla, a-are you drunk?"_

She giggled again and nodded firmly.  
"Yes, sir"

He sighed.

"_I'm coming over, alright"_

Bella nodded again.

"Yay"

She hung up the phone and staggered out to the hall to look herself in the mirror. She groaned at the sight.  
"Not cool" she told herself and hurried at her best ability to grab her makeup.

Fifteen minutes later, she had managed to find a red strapless dress with matching heels, and put some mascara and eyeliner on without too much trouble.

The doorbell rang and she went to open it. What greeted her came as a big surprise.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I don't think it's something to worry about, but still: WARNING Adult themes!**

"_Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight  
Lead me out on the moonlit floor  
Lift your open hand  
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance  
Silver moon's sparkling  
So kiss me"_

-Kiss Me by Sixpence None The Richer

-------

Spencer leaned in and brushed his lips softly against hers, taking a step forward before he closed the door behind them. She wrapped her arms around his neck to steady herself as she let her tongue taste his mouth. After a few seconds, he pulled back and gazed into her eyes.  
"Hey" he said quietly. She smiled.  
"Hey"

He couldn't help but study her body in that dress, and he had to remind his brain that the beautiful girl infron of him was his... or at least he hoped so.

"Why are you drunk?" he asked softly as she took his hand and lead him to the couch. She sat down and chuckled.

"I felt like I needed it... Just bad dreams" she said and Spencer nodded.

Bella was thankful the alcohol was starting to wear off. She didn't need it when he was there.  
"What are they about?" he asked. She looked at him and didn't know what to say.  
"Uhm... There... Well there's a man, a evil man chasing me... showing up everywhere..."

Spencer bit his lip.  
"Who is the man?" he asked, knowing that people in a dream usually were people you've met, but maybe don't remember. She shook her head.  
"I-I don't know... Someone I haven't seen for a very long time"

He stroke her cheek gently and she smiled, relaxing from his touch.

"Bella, I've been thinking about us" he said.  
"Me too" she answered and let out a nervous giggle. He smiled. He loved her giggle.

"What I want to say is... I love you"

Her heart almost stopped as he said this. She couldn't help but stare into his eyes.  
"Y-you love me?" she repeated in a whisper. He sighed and looked away.  
"I understand... I do, who would want a guy like me"

She wrapped her arms around him and looked into his eyes, as he turned his head in surprise of her action.  
"I would" she said and kissed him passionatly. He was surprised, but thrilled, and he responded to her kiss, tasting the sweetness from her drinks as his tongue caressed hers. Instinctivly she straddled his lap and his hands gently explored her every curve.

"Spencer" she whispered. "I love you too"

He smiled and looked up into her eyes.

"I'm yours"

.

She leaned in and their lips met again, as she rolled her hips against him. He let out a soft grunt and grabbed them firmly, his lips leaving hers to kiss down her neck. Bella gasped and tilted her head back.

Her hands went into his hair and tugged at it.

Slowly, he pulled the top of her dress down a bit, thankful it was strapless and grabbed her nipple between his teeth. She let out a soft moan as he gently sucked on it, teasing the other one with his fingers.

"Spencer..." she gasped, and he smirked against her skin. Her hand travelled down his chest and rested on the growing buldge in his pants and grabbed him hard, causing him to groan and look into her eyes. She climbed off him and took his hands, leading him to her bedroom.

Spencer couldn't believe it was happening. He had been so sure she didn't want anything serious with him, and there they were.

Bella lay down on her bed, looking up at Spencer. In the softl light from the purple courtains forcing the day light away, he looked very different, and still the same. However, she liked it and she sat up, grabbed him by the tie and lay back down, forcing him to follow.

.

He did without any protests and again their lips met as they kissed messily.

She let her fingers tangle in his hair, oh how she loved his hair.

She couldn't help but smirk as Spencer slowly slid her dress off as he still kissed her. If the others only knew their baby genius could do this...

"Wow..." he whispered and pulled back so he could fully remove her dress, and spotted her black lace hotpants. She giggled and pushed him down on the bed, before she straddled him and slowly started to unbutton his shirt.

He couldn't help but touch her, as the wonderful view was driving him insane. His hands roamed her body. He slid his shirt off and wrapped his arms around her as he sat up and kissed her deeply. Her long hair tickled his skin and made him shiver, but he liked it.

"You're wearing too many clothes" she whispered seductivly and started to work on his belt. She pulled it out slowly and threw it across the room, before she attacked his lips with her own and undid his zipper and pushed him back on the bed, pulling off his pants and bit her lip at the sight of the large buldge in his boxers. She figured she could tease him a bit more and slowly let her lips tease his skin, sucking and nibbling down his neck. He moaned and let her silky hair run through his fingers. It was just about as much as he could take. She was wild and he didn't know what to do with himself.

"Bella, I-"

"I know" she whispered and as her mouth reached his stomach she slid her fingers under the edges of his boxers and pulled them down, watching his face.

He felt her fingers wrap around him and he closed his eyes, biting his lip. Seconds later, he felt her hot mouth embrace his entire length, and he hissed with pleasure.

She enjoyed watching his face show signs of pleasureable torture as she teased and sucked.

"Bella, I... I want you" he gasped. She smiled and crawled over him until their eyes met.

Who was she to argue?


	5. Chapter 5

"_Long lost words whisper slowly to me  
Still can't find what keeps me here  
When all this time I've been so hollow...inside_

_(I know you're still there)_

_Watching me, wanting me  
I can feel you pull me down  
Saving me, raping me, watching me"_

- Haunted by Evanescence

------

That evening, Spencer couldn't stay with her. Hotch called him right after he stepped out of the shower and told him there was a new case.  
"I'm really sorry, Bella" he said, as he hung up. She smiled at him and shrugged.  
"It's okay, I know you have to go"

He gave her a quick kiss, before he put his clothes on.  
"I'll call you whenever I can" he promised and she nodded, watching him leave. Bella let out a heavy sigh. She was all alone again, and if Spencer had a case, so did Penelope.

She decided to get out of bed and make a sandwich and watch some TV. Realizing that the TV was all she had made her really miss her job.

She put a pair of blue sports hotpants and a simple white top on and headed for the kitchen.  
"So, MR Fridge, what can you offer me today..." She opened it and studied it's content carefully. The phone, which she had left in the livingroom began to vibrate against the coffee table and she left the fridge to pick it up quickly. It was an unknown caller ID.

"Hello?"

There were a few seconds of silence.  
_"What's his name?"_

Bella closed her eyes and mentally screamed 'No, no', but her hand seemed glued onto the phone.

"_An FBI agent... Not bad"_

"What do you want?" she stuttered, blinking away a tear.

"_You'll see, princess. Just wait"_

There was a click and she knew he had hung up. How did he know about Spencer?

For a moment she just stood there and stared right out in the open. Rum and coke sounded very tempting once again... Without the coke.

-------

The team gathered around the table and JJ was ready with her remote.  
"Five years ago a nine year old girl was murdered in the state of Illinois. The local police immediatly suspected a known pedophile, but he had a strong alibi" JJ began as images of little girls were shown on the screen. "A year later, there was a murder in Missouri, this time a ten year old girl, no suspects. One year later a similar murder occured in Oklahoma. This girl was eleven. After that there was a year with no similar murders at all, until last year when it started again. This time a thirteen year old girl in Texas, just months later a fourteen year old in Kentucky and now it's been another victim. Fifteen year old Sandra Becker" She clicked her remote and the picture of a dark blonde girl with staring gray eyes lit up the white wall.

"The police believe their connected?" Hotch asked. JJ nodded.  
"They're pretty certain" she said and clicked the remote again. Full bodied pictures of all victims were lined up, showing all of them were dressed in a fairy costume and the word 'Princess' cut onto their foreheads.

"Any other suspects other than the pedophile from the first victim?" Reid asked. JJ shook her head.  
"They're running DNA right now on some blonde hairs. Since all the victims were blonde no one considered it to belong to an UnSub. There's also been jewelry found on the victims. The CSI are looking for skin traces on the rings and earrings"

"So, the UnSub is most likely a woman" Morgan said.

"Why take a year off like that?" Rossi asked outin the open, more to anyone in perticular.

"Jailtime or something?" Morgan suggeted, and the others scribbled their thoughts down, all except Reid, who'd remember it anyway.

Reid furrowed his eyebrows and looked at the pictures of the dead girls.  
"The victims are one year older than the earlier one each time, were they all killed on the same day?" he asked. JJ looked in her file.  
"Actually... They were all killed on the fifth, but in different months. March, April, May and then July and now August"

"Sounds like a compulsive behaviour" Prentiss said and the others nodded.  
"The fifth must mean alot to the UnSub, also the way they're dressed and the word 'Princess' must be of great importance"

Garcia typed on her keyboard.  
"When was the last murder?" she asked.  
"Two days ago" JJ answered. "Also notice the UnSub's pattern between the states" she continued, pointing at the map that was now on the wall.

"To be honest, it seems this person's whole killing routine is a pattern"


	6. Chapter 6

"_I was framed, they took me away_

_Like I was the only one to blame_

_Framed, guilty they said_

_Railroaded me on a one way train_

_Framed, and on judgement day_

_They want me to hang my head in shame_

_But I was framed, and that's all I'll say_

_Now don't be running down my name_

_I was framed"_

- Framed by Chris Knight

-------

It was getting late and just as the team were ready to leave, JJ approached Reid and Garcia.  
"I have something to show you" she said quietly and with the tone of concern and maybe even sadness in her voice.  
Reid furrowe his eyebrows.  
"What is it JJ?" he asked, wondering what was wrong, since it could only be something wrong with her looking at them like that.

"Let's do this with Hotch in his office" she answered, and headed towards the boss's office. Reid and Garcia shared a look of shared confusion and followed JJ.

As they got inside, Hotch closed the door behind them.  
"Please, sit down" he said, and both Reid and Garcia started to get really worried.  
"Sir, what's wrong?" Garcia asked. He sat down behind his desk and looked at them as they sat down.

"We got the results back from the DNA analysis" JJ said and gave them the file she was holding. Garcia opened it and stared at the name.

"No... It can't be"

Reid looked aswell and swallowed hard as he saw it. It was like the room started spinning. He felt a headache grow and an uncomfortable feeling in his gut.  
"Bella didn't do this" he said. JJ sighed.  
"The hairs were hers and so were the jewelry" she said, but Reid shook his head.  
"You saw those crime photos, JJ, she wouldn't do that"

Hotch cleared his throat and Reid went silent.

"Her DNA is the only one found on the victims... I'm sorry. We have to bring her in"

-------

The night was all a blur to Bella, not only because of the alcohol, but because of what she was accused of. _Arrested on suspicion of murder_...

She let them drag her into a car, handcuffed, and she remained quiet, obeying them.

"Hotch, she's been drinking, she's not in the right state to..."

Rossi's voice as also a blur, but she knew it was him.

_Where is Spencer? Where's Penny, where are they?_

"Belinda..." Still a blur. Who was that? She tried to focus and her eyes went to meet his. They were dark, almost black. She recognized him as Aaron Hotchner. "Belinda"

"Yes?" she asked tiredly.

Her eyes were glazed from all the alcohol and she couldn't sit steadily, he noticed. What had caused this all of a sudden.  
"Do you know why you're here?" he asked her, trying to act professionally.

"You think I'm a child murderer..." she answered in a whisper. Hotch sighed.  
"I need you too take a look at these pictures..."

_Reid was__ watching behind the mirror wall in silence. He couldn't speak. He was so confused and hurt. Somehow he still believed she was innocent, but the evidence... He wanted to be sick, but his body was numb. All he could do was watch her sit there drunk and stare at the pictures, shaking her head._

"No" Bella said and shook her head. Her eyes teared up and she covered her face with her hands. "No"

"Are those your jewelry?" Hotch asked. He could clearly her her crying. She lowered her hands and stared at him with bloodshot eyes.

"I didn't do this... I haven't seen that jewelry for years"

Her head was pounding and somewhere in her brain a voice told her to tell him about the phonecalls and verything, but she knew that Reid would know about it too, so she didn't mention it.

"Did you know the victims?" Hotch asked. Again she shook her head.  
"No... What is this, some kind of sick joke?"

She stood up, her legs shaking as she did so. "Get me out of here"

Rossi walked out from his corner and sat her back into the chair.

"Belinda, your hairs were on them, we need to know how they got there"

His voice was soft and gentle, and she relaxed.  
"I don't know, okay? I really don't. I could never kill anyone..."

Again, Hotch sighed.

"Even if we believed you the evidence is all the court cares about"

"You don't believe me... You said 'if we believed you', which means you don't..." she wiped her eyes. "I want to talk to Penny"

Hotch shook his head.

"You can't"


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: ****Short, but emotional chapter very much needed here in this part of the story.**

_Girl,  
You lived your life like a sleeping swan  
Your time has come  
To go deeper_

Girl,  
Your final journey has just begun  
Your destiny chose the reaper

_No Fear  
Destination Darkness  
No Fear  
Destination Darkness  
No Fear_

- No Fear by The Rasmus

-------

Usually, the BAU team went to the locations of the crime. Now, they stayed in Virginia, but in touch with the other states daily.

It was a new day and they were gathered around the table, talking. The case had gotten personal and strange. Somehow, they all felt something was wrong.  
"I know the evidence says it's Bella, but the profile says no" Prentiss sighed. Hotch had been sitting perfectly still all the time, jaw tightened and eyes staring at the table.

"It's not her, I'm not just saying that because she's my girlfriend" Reid said, blushing a little as he mentioned the 'G' word.

JJ ran her fingers through her long blonde hair.  
"Should we order a psych check on her?" she asked. Rossi opened his mouth but didn't speak.  
"I think we have to" Hotch said and looked over at Reid. Garcia was chewing her lip, staring down at her lap.

She wanted to tell them, but she had promised Bella not to. She tried to figure out if they would trust the profile quickly enough or if it was best to just say it.

She remained quiet.

-------

Bella was all alone. It was quiet, except for the lamp in the ceiling that was making a light buzzing sound. The walls were dark. The floor was dark. The ceiling was dirty white.

She kept staring at the glass of water infront of her. As her head was blurry, it looked like the air bubbles that were starting to form in the water were shapes.

She was feeling cold, freezing and a headache was closing in on her. The combination of alcohol and that lamp frying her head above her wasn't a very good one.

The images of the dead children flashed through her mind. Blood, glitter, pixie wings... Princess. But most of all it was the blood.

She wanted to talk to Spencer. She wanted him to hold her and tell her it wasn't real. She wanted Penelope to tell her it was over, that she was found innocent.

But Spencer didn't come, and neither did Penelope, and just the thought of them made Bella cry.

-------

Reid tried his hardest to focus, and he knew it was to find anything that proved Bella not guilty of the fowl murders, when he should have profiled the UnSub generally.

He was told she was going to be interrogated again, and for some reason, both his heart and his mind told him not to witness it.

He remained seated as Rossi left with the other agents. All he could do was count the beating inside his head from not having any caffeine and look away from a hurting Penelope Garcia.

"Spencer..." she said, voice cracking. He looked at her to show her he was listening. "I think it's time I told you something about Bella..."

-------

"Help us here, Belinda. Help us help you" Rossi asked her gently. She didn't even look at him.  
"I can't help you" she whispered. Her face pale and her eyes red and puffy. She looked very ill, or in alot psychological pain. His guess was she was slowly entering a depression.

"Belinda... Both Spencer and Penelope are really worried about you, they want to know the truth"

Bella pressed her lips together and shook her head.  
"If they were worried they'd be here"

Rossi sighed. He knew nothing about her, and yet it was hurting him to see her like that. He had seen the same hurt in Reid, only it hadn't been on the outside.

"Have you ever seen those girls before?"

Bella was tired. A different kind of tired, beyond exhausted and sleepy. She was feeling weak and numb. It had been the worst week in her life and she figured it was only going to get worse.  
"I've never seen them before"

Her gaze was empty somehow, and as Rossi saw it he knew she was innocent. He needed to find out the truth.

"You're connected to them somehow. If you didn't do it, who did? And why did they place your DNA on the victims?"

Her eyes didn't leave his as she spoke.  
"Maybe someone just wants me to fry in the electric chair"

It wasn't a joke, and that actually scared him. Biting his lip, Rossi stood up and left the room. Hotch looked at hre for a few minutes, before he followed the older man.  
"Aaron" Her voice made him stop in the doorway, and he turned around. "Tell Spencer I know he didn't mean it... And I'm not mad at him for lying"

Hotch didn't know what she meant by that.

"He didn't mean what?"

Bella just looked at him. Her eyes somehow pleeding for freedom, as if her soul wanted to escape.

"What he told me yesterday"

Hotch left and Bella stared at the door, wondering how her life had come to end that quickly.


	8. Chapter 8

"_Dear pain,  
Could you leave me alone tonight,  
Could you just let me sleep  
I'm so tired,  
And it's been so long  
Since you let me be,  
Dear pain,  
You've gotten the best of me"_

-Dear Pain by Tommy Knox

-------

Garcia took a deep breath. She didn't know how to say it.  
"If it can help her I need to know" Reid said. His eyes were filled with kindness and worry, she noticed, as she looked up and she had to face him.

"I think her father is our UnSub..." Garcia began. Reid furrowed his eyebrows.  
"Her father?"

Garcia nodded and let out a sigh.  
"I'll explain... Even if it will make her hate me..." she said and rubbed her hands slowly together, as if it would help her get the words out. "Alright... Here it goes" she said nervously, and began to tell him.

-------

_Belinda Aubrey was celebration her ninth birthday. It was a sunny september day and all her friends had dressed up. She was dressed as a fairy, with a pink sparkly dress and butterfly wings on her back. The tiara was all covered in what she called pink diamonds, but they were really just made out of plastic._

_It was the 5__th__ of September and her mother and aunt had been putting up balloons all over the garden, while Belinda and her cousin Penelope played with the new dolls Belinda had gotten earlier that morning._

_The party was fun and Belinda got alot of presents. Her father bought her a pink cake in the shape of a large flower with nine candles on it for her to blow out._

"_Only the best for daddy's princess"._

_It was a very happy day for her and she even went to bed that evening without a fuss._

_In the middle of the night, it started raining and not too long afterwards, the thunder roared above the houses. Belinda woke up, scared of the thunder and all she wanted was a little comfort from her dad..._

-------

"... It started that night and went on every night for six years..."

Reid was biting his lip so hard it was close to draw blood. His eyes were glazed and his heart shattered. She was a victim, and he had let everyone treat her like a child murderer. "... When she was fifteen, she got pregnant..."

His head shot up and he stared at Garcia. Her bottom lip was shivering and she looked away from him. "... That's how I found out. She told me everything and she moved in with us. Her father disappeared and the police found her mother dead in bed from an overdoze of sleeping pills. I followed Bella to the Abortion Clinique and after that we never heard from her father again. We both took the name Garcia and moved on"

"Oh my God..."

Reid couldn't speak, only whisper, as the lump own his throat had expanded to his entire chest, aching and cutting through him like a knife.

"... Until a few days ago... Bella got a call"

Reid stared at her. She just shook her head. "I don't get it, I traced the number and it said he was in Texas, but Bella said he walked into our appartment and she saw him look at her through the window and... I tried Spencer, I tried to find anything to prove it but I didn't. All I know is that he did call her and he did more than once"

Reid began to understand everything. His mind started working like an entire factory as he put one and one together.

The killing pattern was clear to him now. One victim in every state from close to Chicago to Virginia, following her. The ages of the victims were the same ages as Bella had been in during the molesting. The way they were dressed, the word 'princess'...

"He's coming after her"

He stared at Garcia, who were biting her lip, nodding slowly.  
"I'm scared he is... I had to tell you"

At that moment, the emergency alarm began to ring loudly, and Reid noticed two security guards were rushing towards the Interrogation room.  
"Something's happened"

Both he and Garcia got up quickly and followed them, scared, worried and full of guilt.

**// Again a short chapter, but I need to keep them like this or it's just chaos.**


	9. Chapter 9

"_Why do you do this to me?  
Why do you do this so easily?  
You make it hard to smile because  
You make it hard to breathe  
Why do you do this to me?_

A phrasing that's a single tear,  
Iis harder than I ever feared  
And you were left feeling so alone.  
Because these days aren't easy  
Like they have been once before  
These days aren't easy anymore"

- Why by Secondhand Serenade

-------

Reid wasn't prepared to see what was going on at all, and he stopped in the doorway, staring at the angel sitting in the dark corner, a gun shaking in her hand.

Her long silky blonde hair was glowing from the light in the ceiling. For a moment he didn't know what to do. He heard people talk around him, mumbling things like 'how did she get the gun' and 'how could you let her grab it', but it was all in slow motion, a far away echo.

Slowly, Reid entered the room. Garcia gasped and covered her moth with her hands, frightened of the sight before her, and Morgan held her, telling her it would be ok.

"Bella?" Reid said softly. He could hear her sniffle. He kneeled infront of her, but did nothing. She didn't need his words, she needed his presence.

"You left me in here... All alone, thinking I was a child murderer" she said quietly. He shook his head.

"No I don't think you are a child murderer..."

"You're all the same... It doesn't matter how well you know someone, as long as there's evidence, right?... Well it's over. I can't take it anymore"

She brought the gun to her head and people outside gasped and yelled. Reid swallowed, but did not stop.

"I didn't mean to leave you... I wsn't allowed to be in here with you, I begged for them to let me in, but they didn't"

"You're just saying that so you won't feel so guilty"

Reid placed a hand gently on her knee.

"No, honey. I was outside trying to find anything to prove you innocent" he said softly. "... And I did"

She slowly raised her head and looked at him with tears rolling down her face.

It was that sort of moment no one would ever forget. A moment of fear, and yet it was so calm.

.

In the background, Aaron Hotchner forced the security guards back by standing in the way, knowing Spencer Reid would make it. The air was tense but peaceful somehow, not a sound except for the worried whispers.

.

Bella and Spencer just looked at eachother for a while.

"You did?" she asked. It came out a shaky whisper and Spencer nodded.  
"I know about your father, and I know he's the one doing this. I know he wants to hurt you, but I won't let him"

She saw the sincerity glitter in his eyes, and everything was so strange for a moment. She had expected him to shout at her, be angry with her, but there he was, calm and loving. She put the gun down on the floor and put her hand over his, stroking his soft skin with her thumb.

"I didn't tell you because I thought you would think of me as weak..."

He gently cupped her face.  
"Killing yourself for something you didn't do is weak... Being a victim and still live is strong, Bella"

Her lip shivered and her eyes filled with tears once again.  
"I'm sorry"

He wrapped his arms around her and let her cry, looking over at his boss, as if to ask if he could take her home.

Hotch nodded at him and turned to Penelope.

"You two better take her home. We have an UnSub to find, and you can work from home. I want all his personal info by tomorrow"

Penelope smiled thankfully.

"Thank you, sir. Thank you so much"

**// Okay, so my first idea here was alot more angsty but I toned it down because I didn't want Bella to be looked upon as a suicidal person. Let me know what you think.**


	10. Chapter 10

"_If I tell you  
Will you listen?  
Will you stay?  
Will you be here forever?  
__Never go away?"_

- Bittersweet by: Within Temptation

-------

Garcia had asked Reid to drive to his place with Bella, since they probably needed to talk. Reid had agreed and given her a hug, before he walked Bella to the car.

Bella said nothing during the ride. He knew it was normal, she needed to think.

It slowly started to sink in for him too. She had grabbed a guards gun to shoot herself... Would she have done it if he didn't get there? Or did her mind just need it to make a final decision of weither it was all worth it?

He didn't know what her father had told her when he called, tobe honest, he wasn't sure how much he actually knew about anything, other than the fact that he loved her with every fiber of his being and would do anything to protect her.

-------

It took them about twenty minutes to get there. Spencer opened the front door and Bella couldn't help but smile a little as the warm yellow light and the gentle scent of leather and honey greeted them. She felt completely relaxed, as she always did when she was visiting Spencer. She took her shoes off and entered the livingroom, feeling the familliar soft carpet under her feet and the cool dark leather couch against her skin as she lay down on it. She loved his couch.

"Do you want me to get you some fresh clothes?" Spencer asked softly. Bella smiled and wrapped the large fleece blanket around her.

"Later. I need to shower anyways..." she said. He tried to smile, but she knew he was hurting. She sat up and patted the seat next to her. He sat down.  
"We need to talk about what happened" he said and she nodded.

"I really thought you'd left me... I was so scared in there when my head got clearer and it all sank in..."

Spencer nodded. She was still surprised he wasn't angry with her.

"I was scared in there too, seeing you with the gun" he began, looking at his knees. "It didn't seem real..."

Bella stroke his arm gently.  
"I wasn't going to kill myself. I thought about ending the emotionalpain but I just couldn't take that step, you know?"

"I let you down"

Now he was looking at her, and the golden shimmer in his eyes made her heart ache.  
"No... I would have gone crazy if you wouldn't have talked to me"

Spencer pressed his lips together, nodding slightly.

"Bella... We don't have to do it right now, but we need to talk about your father"

She swallowed and looked away, but nodded.  
"Could it wait 'til tomorrow?"

Spencer smiled and nodded.

"Yes"

He gave her lips a quick kiss. "I love you"

She smiled, knowing he was telling her the truth.

"I love you" she said and kissed him back. "I'm going totake that shower before I get some sleep, if you don't mind"

Spencer nodded.

"A nap does sound nice"

She made her way to the bathroom and locked the door, before turning on the shower and stare at herself in the mirror. She realised how imperfect she was and how pathetic she had acted. She was a grown woman, she should be able to handle it...

The images of blood stained pixie wings flashed through her mind. Staring eyes and open mouths yelling for help.

She walked in to the shower and tried to shake them away, but with the images came the tears and feeling of hopelessness and she slid down the tiled wall crying, with the warm water washing over her body.

------

"_How is she, baby G?" _Garcia asked, but without her usually cheerful voice. Reid sighed and fingered the ear of his coffee mug.  
"She's taking a shower... I think she's feeling better, but obviously it's been traumatic for her" he said and swallowed.

"_Yeah..."_

"Uhm, I was thinking of something... D-do you think Hotch acted wrongly? I mean interrogating her when she was affected by alcohol?"

He could hear her sigh.

"_Yes, actually I do... But at the same time, I can't help but feeling grateful they had to bring her in before she got even more into her system"_

Reid didn't like the sound of that.  
"Penelope, I need you to answer a question honestly..."

Garcia knew it was serious when he called her by her first name.

"_Off course..."_

"Is Bella..." he didn't know how to put it. "... Do you think she wants to die?"

There was a moment of silence before Garcia spoke.  
_"No... I think she thinks about escaping from the pain that her scars are causing her, and she considered the possibility of dying..." _she swallowed the lump down her throat. _"... But she loves living, Spencer. I think she just needs help to get back to normal again, or so I hope..."_

Reid nodded to himself, understanding her point.

"I think we need to catch her father to help her with that"


	11. Chapter 11

"_There's a little creepy house in a little creepy place_

_Little creepy town in a little creepy world_

_Little creepy girl with her little creepy face_

_Saying funny things that you have never heard_

_Do you know what it's all about_

_Are you brave enough to figure out_

_Know that you could set your world on fire_

_If you are strong enough to leave your doubts"_

- Walking on Air by Kerli

-------

The foam slowly turned a shade of red as it poured down the shiny metal drain. Bella was still in the corner of te tiled shower, her hand shaking with fury, causing the razor to cut too deep.

She threw it away and reminded herself never to shave her legs when she was upset. She stood up and rinsed the shampoo out of her hair, making a face as the hot water ran down her leg and made her cut burn.

As she wrapped the towel around her body she noticed it was one of those cuts who just wouldn't stop bleeding. It was always worst by the ankle.

The white floor was starting to look like a red batik pattern and she sighed with annoyment, sticking a piece of toilet paper onto the cut so she could at least go get a band-aid, but it bled thorugh. She unlocked the door and stuck her head out.

"Honey?" she called out. "Could you get me a band-aid?"

After a few seconds Spencer approached her and handed her the band-aid, but frowned as he saw the bathroom and opened the door even further.

"What did you do?"

He sounded shocked, and Bella realised it probably looked worse than it was.  
"It's just a small cut on my leg" she explained. Spencer grabbed her by the arms and stared down at them. She snatched them back.

"I'm sorry Bella..." he began. She stared at him.  
"I can't even believe you'd think that"

He chewed on his bottom lip and looked down.

"I'm really sorry, I over reacted..."

Bella nodded and put on the band-aid.

"I will clean it up, I'm just going to put some clothes on"

Spencer rubbed his eyes with his hands and nodded, letting out a sigh.

"Okay... Do you, uhm, want anything to eat? I was thinking about ordering something"

Bella smiled and kissed his cheek.  
"Something I can feed you with" He didn't look like he liked the idea. "Baby, come on, I'm fine" she said.

"No you're not fine, and you know that's the truth as much as I do"

She looked him in the eyes and sighed.

"I don't want things to change because of this"

Spencer shrugged and looked down.

"Maybe we should have that talk today instead"

-------

Morgan was at the latest crime scene and had just talked to the only witness they had, a dillusional homeless drunk with no relevant facts at all, when Garcia called him.

"Yeah, baby girl"

"_I know where he is and he is not in Texas"_

"Where is he?" Morgan asked. He heard Garcia type quickly on the keyboard.

"_His cellphone has somehow been connected to a transmitter in Texas, which is why I kept seeing his signal there, but he's here, in Virginia"_

Morgan closed his eyes and sighed, quietly mumbleing something about 'bastard'.

"Okay, what's the address?"

More typing, before Garcia let out a gasp.

"_He's at the youth recreation centre in Barbourville"_

Morgan quickly headed towards the car, waving to Prentiss to come withhim.  
"I'm on my way, sugar, now you call Hotch and tell him we might need backup"

-------

Spencer and Bella watched TV in silence, both a little annoyed at the other. Bella wanted to wait until the next day to talk, just to be able to relax a bit and let the past days events sink in. Spencer wanted to talk right there and then, believeing it would do them both good.

Bella looked over at him from where she sat in the corner of the couch. She missed him holding her and she had a unpleasant feeling in the stomach wondering if things would be alright.

"You know what..." she said and stood up. "I'm gonna take the bus home"

Spencer furrowed his brows and stared at her.  
"You're what?"

Bella shrugged.  
"You don't seem to want me here anyway"

Spencer clenched his jaw and stood up.  
"Are you crazy? Your psycho father is out there"

Bella let out a disappointed laugh and shook her head.  
"Yeah... The psycho family is loose, right? That's what you think, isn't it? I'm crazy too, right?"

Spencer felt anger build up in him and he wasn't used to that feeling.  
"You are crazy if you go out there! For God's sake, Belinda I found you hungover on the floor with a gun pointed at your head today, I'm not in the mood for this"

That made her snap like never before.  
"MAYBE IF YOUR DAMN BOSS HADN'T ACCUSED ME OF MURDERING KIDS AND SHOWED ME PICTURES OF THEIR CUT UP BODIES, THINGS WOULD HAVE TURNED OUT DIFFERENT!"

He was actually taken aback by that and he was too shocked to even stop her before she left, slamming the door shut behind her.


	12. Chapter 12

"_Bec__ause I'm broken when I'm open  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough  
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away"_

- Broken by Seether ft. Amy Lee

-------

Reid ran his fingers through his hair as he paced the livingroom back and forth. Bella had disappeared so quickly and it was dark outside. Even worse, it was raining, and he hadn't seen her anywhere outside. He was getting really worried.

"Good one Spencer Reid" he said out loud to himself. "You yelled at her and was angry when she needed you, way to go"

He sighed as he realised he was talking to himself and that was insane.

Multiple times he had caught himself glancing towards the cellphone on the coffee table, wondering if he should call Garcia or accept the fact that Bella was a grown woman and could make her own decisions.

He decided to use a third option instead, and quickly headed towards the door.

-------

Bella was walking slowly in the rain, regretting that she left and found the orange light from the street lights a bit scary. The first car in a long while drove by, but stopped not far ahead from her. She kept walking.

"Hey baby, how much for a ride?"

She clenched her jaw and kicked the tire.  
"Do I look like a whore to you?" she said angrily. "Stay the fuck away from me, my boyfriend's a FED, you hear me?!"

The guy in the car looked quite surprised and drove away, leaving Bella all alone once again.

She was soaked and more upset and confused than ever. She had never yelled at Spencer before and it made her feel horrible. He had only tried to help her.

All of a sudden, she also realised that she was out in the dark all by herself and that her father was murdering people to get to her. It made her stop and look around, fear building up inside her.

Another car drove towards her and she backed a little. The car stopped right under the light next to her, and she recognized it.  
"Bella I'm so sorry"

Spencer left the car in and hurried up to her, embracing her in a warm hug. She was sick of crying but couldn't help it. She held him tight as the tears came once again.  
"No, I'm sorry... I was being sucha jerk when all you wanted to do is help me"

He kissed her on the cheek and looked at her. Water was dripping down her face and her eyes were green marbled with blue, shining more bright than ever.

"Let's forget about this and go home, and we'll talk"

She nodded after a second and he followed her back to the car, opening the door for her, before he ran around it and sat down behind the wheel.

-------

The lights were dim and candles were lit on the coffee table. Bella was sitting on the couch wrapped in a large towel and Spencer next to her in his slightly damp shirt.

She looked at him, eyes glowing from the light, and she sighed a little.  
"What do you want to know?" she asked softly and he cleared his throat.

"Why did you tell me your parents died in a car crash?"

His voice was low and calm, just the way she preffered conversations to be.

"It was easier for me to live my life that way... Like I could forget my past for a moment and just be 'a girl without parents' instead of 'a girl with a psycho pedophile for a father and a cowardly abuse victim for a mother'..."

He looked into her eyes with sceptisism.

"Did it work?"

She sighed and shrugged, meeting his eyes again.  
"Sometimes it did. When I met you, it worked and I felt happy for once, you know... So I stuck to the story and hoped nothing would come up so I'd have to change it"

Spencer furrowed his brows.  
"So you were planning on keeping it secret forever?"

Again, Bella shrugged.  
"I don't know. I suppose one day I'd feel ready to tell you about my life, I just never thought it'd have to be this soon"

Spencer nodded and softly ran his fingers over her hand. It was soft, it always was.

"Penelope told me all of it, I think..." he said and again he turned to look her in the eyes. Bella pressed her lips together and looked away.

"My mom knew all the time, y'know... And she never did anything. I had to deal with it on my own until he... I got pregnant and mom wouldn't come with me to the clinic, so I called Penny... Told her everything"

It was hurting him deeply, but he knew he needed to be strong for her and not take it personally.

"What did her parents do?"

A smile spread across Bella's face.

"Everything. They took me in, called the police and let me stay there as if I had been Penny's sister... It changed my life" She smiled at him and kissed him on the lips. "Just like you did... I love you"

He smiled too and kissed her back.

"I love you"


	13. Chapter 13

"_And I would answer all your wishes  
If you ask me to  
But if you deny me one of your kisses  
Don't know what I'd do  
So hold me close and say three words like you used to do  
Dancing on the kitchen tiles  
Yes you make my life worthwhile  
So I told you with a smile  
It's all about you"_

- All about you by McFly

-------

Bella had fallen asleep against Spencer's shoulder as they watched TV, and he was getting sleepy himself, but the news made him force his eyes open.

_._

_The so called Princess Killer who murdered five girls all over the country has entered the Youth R__ecreation Centre in Barbourville. The FBI have surrounded the bulding as we speak, and the man is most likely armed and very dangerous, and all civilians are being asked to remain calm and stay inside and to not under any circumstances try to contact anyone at the centre, as it might trigger the suspect to harm the individuals inside. The FBI..._

.

Spencer didn't hear more of it as he gently lay her down on the couch, draping the blanket over her as he quietly grabbed his gun and holster from the small safe and left the appartment.

He headed to his car jogging and as soon as he got in he turned on the radio. He immediatly recognized JJ's voice.

.

"_The UnSub is extremely aggressive and doesn't know empathy. He's incapable of seeing other people's pain, or even seeing other people as human beings, children or adults. We know he had a history of rape and violence before he comitted these murders, and we ask the public to please listen to the local police and the FBI for the safety of these children"_

_There are still no signs of violence inside the YCR, and we'll keep you updated during this broadcast._

-------

Hotch waved at the others to follow him, with their guns pointed at the back door. There were snipers in every direction and Hotch had been told number seven had a headshot view at the UnSub.

Suddenly one of the kids inside turned around and noticed them, and even if Derek was quick on showing her to be quiet, she screamed for help and a middle aged man came running towards the glass door.

It all happened so fast no one had time to react. The girl was slammed into the door, cracking her forehead open and an immediate turbulence started both outside and inside.

"You think you can keep me from her, huh? Well you're wrong you bastards"

It was obvious the man wasn't mentally stable by the way he was moving and waving his knife around. Hotch pointed his gun straight at him.  
"Drop the knife and we won't shoot you"

The man laughed, causing spit to fly everywhere.  
"Yeah right. You want me to have a shot up my arm with poison in it instead, right? Well it aint going to happen"

Hotch remained focused.  
"Let the girl out at least. Let us take her to the hospital"

Again the man laughed.  
"Kiddo, I don't give a fuck about her"

They could do nothing but wait. They couldn't shoot him in the leg, because the risk of hitting the girl on the floor was too big, and they couldn't kill him unless he attacked them with violence.

It was frustrating, and Hotch found the thoughts of calling Reid and ask him to bring Bella for a trade pop up more than once.

-------

_It seems a child has been hurt, we don't know the identity or description of the child yet, but someone has been hurt inside the YCR, and the FBI are doing everything they can to save the hostages as we speak..._

Bella woke up as people started screaming on TV. She looked arund in confusion.  
"Spence?"

He wasn't in the room. Her eyes focused on the TV again. It was the news, and they were filming froma helicopter. A building was surrounded and people were being forced away by the police. Bella frowned, wondering what was going on. She turned the volume up a little.

.

_... Now as you can see, the FBI are handeling it carefully and we ask the public again to please remain calm, as the suspect might get provoced by chaos..._

_._

She recognized Derek Morgan by the building as the camera zoomed in, and Emily Prentiss a few feet away from him.

Bella goy up and ran to the bathroom. It was empty and the lights were out. She ran to the kitchen.  
"Spencer, are you here?"

She realised he wasn't in the appartment at all and panic rushed through her vains.

What if she was never going to see him again?

She headed back to the living room, and decided to watch the news. At least she'd be able to see what was going on.

The news reporter showed upinfront of the camera. She was african-american and had long black curls. Bella tried to focus on her instead of her own anxiety, but it wasn't working.

Next to the reporter was an image that made Bella shiver. It was a man with light gray hair and double chins. His eyes were dark and threatening. It was her father.

.

_It has now been verified that he injured child is thirteen year old Megan Harper. The family has been notified and are witing by a nearby ambulance, as the FBI are trying to negotiate with the suspect to let her go..._

.

Bella ran her fingers through her long, silky blonde hair and sighed. He had done it again. Wasthe girl alive? Was she badly injured? Was he going to let her go?

She understood that no one could fix it except for her, and that both Spencer and his team were in danger... If she didn't do anything.

Slowly, with a shaking hand, she grabbed the phone on the side table and called a cab.

She had to go there and make things right. There were dozens of children in there and hundreds of people outside.

She as only one sacrifice.


	14. Chapter 14

"_It's true, we're all a little insane  
but its so clear  
now that I'm unchained_

_fear is only in our minds  
taking over all the time  
fear is only in our minds but its taking over all the time_

_you poor sweet innocent thing  
dry your eyes and testify  
you know you live to break me- don't deny  
sweet sacrifice_

_One day I'm gonna forget your name  
and one sweet day, you're gonna drown in my lost pain"_

-Sweet Sacrifice by Evanescence

-------

The public rarely acted wisely in situations like that, and as burning bottles and objects were thrown towards the police, it was turning into chaos.

Reid had just arrived and immediatly pointed the gun towards the building. For some stupid reason, the civilians thought he was going to shoot while the kids were close enough to get hit, causing the street to turn into a battlefield.

As the lit bottles of alcohol hit the ground, flames spread across the asphalt, burning trashcans and other objects out there, which caused a thick smoke to block their view.

"Damn it, I can't see anything" Morgan said loudly.

"Try to sneak in. He can't see either" Hotch said, and a shadow that was all they could make out of Morgan's form quietly went round the back of the building.

.

The Fire department quickly put out the fires and the smoke faded after a while. The team stood in silence, wondering if Morgan had managed to enter the building.

They couldn't see him and Hotch began to worry.

Suddenly the UnSub came towards the large glass windows with a gun pointed at Prentiss. It was Morgan's gun.  
"Now, bring me my daughter or I'll put a hole in your pretty face" he yelled. Prentiss swallowed, but did not lower her gun.  
"I am here"

It caused everyone to focus at the person walking past them towards the bulding.  
"Get her out of the area" Hotch yelled. Reid looked to the side and saw Bella. A part of him wanted to say 'ugh, not again', but the other part of him was stronger, and it was the feeling of true fear.

The man inside stared at her in triumph.  
"Good girl" he said. "Now come to daddy"

Bella remained still.  
"Let them go, all of them and I'll come"

The man scratched his head for a while, before he nodded.  
"Get out, you little bastards, GET OUT!" he yelled at the kids, who immediatly ran for their lives out through the doors. Bella smirked.  
"I hate you..."

The very second the bulding was clear from the kids, Hotch fired his gun.

There was a loud shot echoing through the neighbourhood, and the UnSub fell.

So did Bella.

-------

"_We have a 24 year old female shot in the lower chest, she's bleeding heavily and will need immediate emergency care. She's been given oxygen and is slipping in and out of conciounsness. We have given her one doze __of morphine, over"_

"_We'll be ready for you in five, over and out"_

_._

Reid was holding her hand as the pharamedic inserted the needle to give her some IV. She stirred as the cold steel penetrated her skin.  
"It's okay, Belinda I won't sting you anymore, alright" the man said calmly, yet loud and clear somehow.

"Is it bad?" Reid asked. The pharamedic sighed.  
"I can't really tell what's going on inside. We have control over the external bleeding and her breathing, she's been given morphine for the pain and that's all I can do. She'll probably go through surgery though, so you should ask the doctor when we get there"

Reid nodded and his eyes focused on her face. It was partly covered by the oxygen mask, but he could see her eyes move under her eyelids and he noticed she was really pale.

He gently rubbed his thumb over her hand, letting her know he was still there, even if he didn't speak.

-------

Reid was sitting in the dove blue armchair in the waiting room, moving his leg up and down nervously.

Hotch had been standing up the whole time, tapping his chin with his fingers, as if he was in another world.

JJ had to deal with the press before she could join them.  
Rossi was staring into space, and Prentiss had gone to meet Garcia , who was on her way there.

Minutes passed by like hours, the coffee tasted chemical and the chairs were not made to be sat in for such a long time, and Reid would feel it in his back the next day... But they all remained there, waiting, worrying.

Garcia soon arrived and walked up to Reid, taking the seat next to him.

"This is the second time I'm at the hospital with you two" she told him. "I hope this isn't a habit you're going to keep"

Reid couldn't help but smile. Even in the most horrible situations, Penelope Garcia could lighten his mood, even if it was only by a little.

"I hope so too" he said.

Garcia patted his leg and sighed.  
"What did the doctor say?"

"She's in surgery, but the bullet didn't hit any vital organs, so they believe she'll make a full recovery" Hotch said, and for the first time in two hours, he moved and began to pace back and forth again.

"And her father?" Garcia asked.

"Dead" Hotch answered.

Garcia looked around.  
"Where's my sugar muffin?"

Reid chuckled and rubbed the drousiness from his eyes.  
"He was knocked out for a it at the YCR, but he's fine really. They're checking him, probably a light concussion"

Garcia smacked her lips and shook her head.  
"See, this proves you need to bring me on your little trips so you all can return home safely"

A middle aged woman approached them and looked through the file in her hands.  
"Alright, you're here for miss Garcia I believe?" she asked and the team nodded. "Is her partner here?"

"I'm her boyfriend" Reid said and stood up. The woman smiled.  
"I have good news" she said and he sighed in relief. "There was a minimal internal bleeding from a muscle in her back. I recommend her not to lift anything heavy or bend for at least two weeks. She'll need a lot of rest and she'll have to walk carefully, and you need to help her up and down stairs" the woman said, scanning through her file. "The stitches will disappear on their own, but I want to check on her in two weeks. Also, she should visit the maternity centre soon. The baby is fine, but it's time for that anyway"

The world stood still and Reid could do nothing but stare at her.  
"I-I'm sorry... What?"

He furrowed his brows, not really understanding what was going on.

"You didn't know?" The woman asked. Reid swallowed hard. Was this for real? "Well, Belinda is pregnant, three months along. Congratulations"

His legs turned to jell-o and he had to support himself against the wall. A baby? They were having a baby?... They were having a baby!


	15. Chapter 15

_"Maybe I've been here before  
I know this room, I've walked this floor  
I used to live alone before I knew you  
I've seen your flag on the marble arch  
love is not a victory march  
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah"_

- Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen

-------

You'd probably think the team would be happy for Reid and Bella, but they were far from it. It was almost like Bella had commited a crime against their young genius, and even Garcia looked a bit unsure of what would happen next.

Reid was trying hard to come up with a good decision on what to do, but there was a positive and a negative side of everything.

"Spencer?"

He looked up from where he was sitting on the floor and saw Garcia standing next to him, with a concerend look on her face. He stood up and let out a heavy sigh. "Are you okay with this?"

He looked at her but didn't know what to say. What was the best thing to do, be honest with her or tell her he wasn't sure? He drew a shaky breath and leaned his back against the wall.

"Honestly... I'm not ready for this"

She nodded. She understood.

"It wasn't the right time for news like this, huh" she said, more to herself than to him, but he nodded.  
"Yeah... I don't even know if it's mine, I have no idea regarding anything around this baby"

Garcia placed a caring hand on his shoulder.  
"Off course it's yours"

He bit his lip ad shook his head slowly.  
"Penelope..." he began, looking tired and, somehow, lonely. "... There is a 25% risk this baby will get schitzophrenic, or any other close psychosis. It's not right to bring that child into this world, and besides, Bella has had quite severe drinking problems the last few months, probably before that aswell..."

Garcia looked sad and let out a sigh.  
"Spencer, both of you had the responsibility to protect yourselves, now you have to deal with the situation"

He knew she was right, and that made him feel even worse. It was an unbearable situation and the time was short to consider any other option besides keeping the baby...

"Spencer" This time Hotch spoke, wich surprised Reid, because Hotch was that kind of person who liked to stay out of other peoples personal problems. "If there's anyone I'd trust with a child, it's you... You just need a little experience"

Reid wanted to laugh at that. Sure, children with the ability to think logically and actually talk he could handle, but babies hated him. Henry was the only exception.

"Hotch, I have no idea how to deal with kids"

He was feeling as if they were forcing him into a corner, especially when the next thing occured.  
"You keep everything clean, because you're sensitive of viruses yourself, but at the same time you know that a sterile enviroment isn't good either..." Hotch pointed out.

_Where were they going with this?_

"You love reading and finding hidden messages in the most simple poems" Prentiss suggested. The others nodded.  
Reid wanted to run away.

"You put loyalty first, no matter the situation" Rossi said, not looking up from the old magazine he had found. Reid shook his head.  
"All of that means nothing if I don't know anything about infants"

JJ was the only one with what seemed to be a tiny smile on her face.  
"When you first held Henry, I never doubted you a second"

Somehow, Henry was always a sensitive subject to Reid. He was special to him in alot of ways. "And we knew even before that, that if something would happen to me and Will, you'd be the one to raise our son just the way we'd always wanted"

_Unexpected...._

"But, it's your decision" Garcia finished, and Reid knew she did it on purpose. He groaned and looked at them with a face of defeat.  
"You know just how to manipulate me, don't you"

-------

Bella heard someone enter the room, and she slowly opened her eyes. Her lashes were sticky and she took a few seconds to think about why.  
"You're awake"

It was Spencer. He was smiling, but it was a different kind of smile. It wasn't the "_Oh, honey I'm so glad you're ok" _or "_I have been so worried" _smile, like she had expected. It was a "_I don't know how to say this, but..." _smile. She didn't like it.  
"Why do you look like someone just strangled your puppy?" she asked, and he furrowed his brows in that way she loved seeing him do. It was the thing that made him Dr Spencer Reid, without havin to open his mouth.

"What do you mean?" he asked. Bella would have shrugged if she could, but her body felt really heavy.

"Ohh, now I get it" she said and swallowed. Her mouth was dry. "They told you about the baby and you don't want it, hmmm let's see..."

He was about to say something, but she was too quick. "It's either A, you think the kid will be all fucked up because of the alcohol and the morphine and my creepy mental state, or B..." she began to speak louder, as he tried to interrupt her. "... It's because of the mental diseases that's running in your family, or C, you simply don't want to have a baby, and therefor you have already sceduled an appointment at the Abortion Clicic, so we still have time to do it..."

She looked at him, and he just stood there, looking terrified and shocked. His hazel, puppy dog eyes were staring at her and his mouth was slightly open.

"You knew about the baby?" he asked, sounding surprised, not angry as she thought he would.

"Yes, and I think my dad found out and that's why he came after me"

For the first time in his life, Spencer's mind was overloaded and he had to sit down.

"That means you must have gone to the hospital for a pregancy test, otherwise he wouldn't have found that information"

She just gave him a look that said he got it right.

"You know... I knew you didn't want it. I knew that it didn't matter that we had been seeing eachother for months and that it didn't matter how much you say you love me, because you will always put your job first, and a baby would destroy your world"

He knew words hurt more than fists, but he had never experienced something so hurtful as that. He wondered why she would think that, but he couldn't ask her. His throat was choking up, making his lower lip tremble.

He stood up and slowly walked towards the door, and before he opened it he turned around and looked at her.

"Or option D... He wants the baby, but is scared he won't be good enough"

That very second, Bella wanted to call him back, but he had closed the door behind him before she got the chance.


	16. Chapter 16

"_I love you like I love the sunrise in the morning  
I miss you like I miss the water when I'm burning  
I didn't mean to hurt you dear  
the words just came out wrong  
Now I'm broken down and lonely  
and I'm so colder now"_

- I didn't mean to hurt you by Spiritualized

-------

Reid didn't even look at his team as he walked down the corridor and towards the elevators. He had nothing to say anymore, because the words would end up failing him anyways.

He heard someone follow him, and he was pretty sure it was Morgan. However, he kept ignoring it.

"Reid, what's going on?" Morgan asked and placed a hand on the younger agent's shoulder. Reid let out a heavy sigh and turned around.

"I honestly don't know. I have no idea what's going on"

Morgan just looked at him, not really knowing what to do.  
"What did she say?"

The question caused Reid to chew on his lip and think for a while.

"Let's put it this way... She told me everything I did not want to hear"

Morgan frowned.

"Reid, she's still affected by the sedation, aren't you being a little irrational here?"

Reid sighed. Morgan just didn't understand.

"That's what I mean, Morgan. She's always affected by something, weither it's medication, alcohol or psychologic stress, it's always something and I want the old Bella back!" Morgan looked a little surprised. "Francly, I don't want that Bella in there to have my child"

There, he said it and it hurt just as he had thought, even worse. His throat went sore, as if he had just downed a gallon of acid, and if he hadn't controlled himself, he would have broken down that very moment.

Morgan could do nothing but hold his collegue, at least try to comfort him somehow.

-------

Garcia had rushed to her cousin's room after Reid had left, and the others had just stared at eachother in confusion. Something had definatly changed between Bella and Reid, and they hoped it was something that could be fixed.

The female doctor returned in a hurry and looked around.  
"We've found something exremely urgent that we never suspected before" she said, holding a file close to her chest. "Where is that young man who's with miss Garcia?"

JJ looked over at Hotch before she spoke.  
"He had to get some air..."

The doctor nodded, but gave JJ the file.  
"We found traces of both Testosterone and Zuclopenthixol in her blood" The team stared at the woman. "The dozes have been quite small, but they are affecting both Bella and the baby"

JJ furrowed her brows.  
"How could they have gotten into her system?"

The doctor shrugged.  
"She must have taken it daily for the last week or so, but I suspect she must have thouht it was something else"

JJ left the team to get Garcia. The whole situation had taken a turn no one had ever suspected.  
"What are the risks for now?" Hotch asked. The female doctor smacked with her lips and sighed.  
"They are small, but giving a pregnant woman testosterone is dangerous. It would pretty much order the body to remove the baby on it's own. The other drug we found would definatly cause her to be slightly confused and perhaps even aggressive, and it would definatly affect her brain, since it is a drug used to treat patients with a psycosis"

Hotch rubbed his neck as the thoughts gathered in his mind.

"When's the last time she took it?"

"Well" the doctor began. "The tests shows she took a double doze less than 24hours ago. For now we can't see any damages to her physically, but a double doze of testosterone could be really dangerous."

-------

JJ found Penelope holding a crying Bella in her arms. She knew it wasn't the right time, according to her moral opinion, but it was a serious situation and she had to tell them.  
"Bella, have you taken any pills the last couple of days?" JJ asked. Bella sniffled and pulled away from her cousin.  
"Pills? No..." she said, wiping her eyes. "Wait I... Yes, I've been eating Vitofil" she explained to JJ. "They're vitamins recommended for women to eat during their pregnancy..."

Penelope just looked between the two n confusion.  
"Where did you get the pills?" JJ asked and Bella ran her fingers through her long, silky blonde hair.  
"Uhm, they came with..." She suddenly realised something and stared at JJ.

Flashback

"_Honey... The only one there is the mail man"_

"_But I heard someone walk in here... I saw someone at the window" Bella said firmly. Garcia sighed.  
"Well, maybe there's a package too big to fit the post box and you just didn't hear him knocking before he got in" There was a moment of silence.  
"Well... There are some letters here... flyers.... you're right, there is a package here"_

_Garcia nodded.  
"Right. Don't worry, honey, they're just memories. Look under the couch, I'm sure the phone slid under there. I have to go"_

_Bella put the phone down and grabbed the brown package. It was addressed to her. She ripped the paper off with some difficulty and opened the smal carboard box. Inside, she found a small can of bright green pills and a brochure, reading:_

_Dear Belinda!_

_Vitofil Inc gives you our warmest congratulations._

_The gift of a child is something to cherish and Vitofil Inc is deeply honored to be able to help both mother and child on their journey during pregnancy._

_You hereby recieve one month's consumption of our own exclusive vitamins needed to keep both you and your baby at good health...._

"... The package" Bella said, sounding shocked. Her eyes now moved to stare at Penelope instead. "The mailman, Penelope. I told you!"

JJ looked confused.  
"What mailman?"

Bella explained what had happened at Penelope's appartment, and soon it was all falling into place.

"My father wasn't after me. He was after my baby... I knew it!"

She covere her face and began to cry again.  
"Bella, don't worry, you're safe now" Penelope said softly and rubbed her cousin's back. Bella shook her head.  
"I was being an ass to Spencer... I've hurt him so badly, he won't ever forgive me"

JJ sighed. She knew somehow, that if Spencer had just heard about everything, he would have understood.  
"I'll see if I can find him and explain what's going on"


	17. Chapter 17

(This is the re-written chapter 17)

" _I may never sleep tonight,  
As long as you're still burning bright,  
If I could trade mistakes for sheep,  
Count me away before you sleep,  
I'll stay awake 'til I trade my mistakes  
Or they fade away."_

Trade Mistakes by Panic! At the Disco

The doctor explained everything to Bella and it made her cry. It started to sink in, everything she had done that might have hurt the baby – everything she had done that did hurt Spencer… The doctor explained that some of it could have been the pills making her do irrational things, but to Bella, who wanted to be everything her own mother never were, to her child, it didn't matter. A mother shouldn't be affected by drugs to hurt their child.

She regreted the fact that she hadn't told him she was pregnant, but she had waited for the right moment and it just hadn't showed up. Everything had gone so fast – too fast. They had been on their first date just five moths earlier and they hadn't even been sure about their relationship. She didn't even know if they had one anymore.

"As you might understand, we had to stop your morphine treatment since it's not recommended to use while pregnant" the doctor said. Bella huffed.

"Does it really matter now? After everything I've done?"

Garcia just sat there, not wanting to say anything that could make the situation worse. Francly, she wasn't sure she had let it all sink in yet. Her cousin had been totally out of it and so much had happened the past year, she couldn't really blame her either.

"From what we can see, the baby is fine for now, but you need to rest and we're giving you a pain reducing medicament that will be milder. Unfortunatly it's slightly less affective aswell, so you might feel sore" The doctor scribbled something in her pad. "I will schedule an appointment for an ultrasound and a rutine check in a couple of days"

The doctor left the room and Bella sat there in silence. Garcia cleared her throat.

"Bella, I… It will be alright, ok? You've both been through a lot lately, and I think he's just in shock and needs to clear his mind a bit"

Bella shook her head and stared at her hands placed on her lap.

"I forced him onto a roller coaster of nightmares that he shouldn't have been involved with", Bella said and looked at her cousin. Their eyes met and it was a moment of complete honesty. "I bought a pregnancy test just in case and I was sure it would be negative, but it wasn't, and so I bought three more. Three, Pen, and they were all positive. I couldn't believe it and I went to the clinic to let them test me too". Her eyes were glazed and she was breathing hard trying to swallow the lump in her throat. "I'm not sure I can keep it, Pen… I just… I didn't want things to move downhill for us, I wanted the magic moments to last for eternity, and to have a child now is…"

She sighed and Garcia took her hand gently.

"Whatever you decide on, I will be here, ok"

Bella sniffled and wiped a tear away with her free hand.

"I might not have been living in the fairytale of my dreams latley, but I love Spencer, more than anything, and I carry his child. _His child_, Pen. I don't know how I can even have thoughts about removing it, killing our child…"

Garcia wasn't sure what to say. She could see pro's and con's on boths sides.

"Honestly, I think you two need to talk. Not blaming eachother or trying to explain or regret things you can't control anymore, just talk"

Bella nodded.

"If he ever wants to talk to me again"

Garcia slapped her on the wrist.

"Stop being stupid, it's not like you. Use that brain of yours and understand that he loves you and that is why he's so hurt right now"

JJ found Reid on a bench outside, elbows resting on his knees and to her surprise, a cigarette between those slender fingers. Instead of asking him what the hell he was doing, she just sat down next to him, took the cigarette and took a puff from it.

"You don't smoke" he said and looked at her. He looked tired, worn out.

"Neither do you" she said and took one more puff before she gave it back to him. He sighed and looked at the ground.

"Well, lately I've been doing a lot of things I don't normaly do. My head is spinning with everything that's happened and I don't know how to handle all this" He put out the cigarette and looked at her again. "Maybe it's a sign that I should be alone"

JJ shook her head.

"No. I think you have to give eachother another chance. Love is not supposed to be easy, Spence and I really believe she never wanted to hurt you. Things happened and the cause of all of this is now dead because your girlfriend was brave enough to risk her life for all those children"

Reid clenched his jaw.

"She wasn't just risking her own life"

JJ sighed. She could tell it was tearing on him.

"You of all people knows that nothing's black or white"

It made him think differently. He hadn't been thinking of other alternatives at all, he had just acted on his feelings.

"I should get back in there and talk to her" he said. JJ nodded.

The team decided to go home and get some sleep. They left Reid at the hospital and wished him luck and told him to take it easy. He just nodded and walked into Bellas room with his hands down his pockets. He pressed his lips toghether and watched her for a second. She was looking out the window and the setting sun made her eyes sparkle.

"Hey" he said quietly. She jerked out of her stare and looked at him as he took a seat next to her bed.

"Hey" she whispered. Their eyes locked and for a moment the past days didn't matter. He saw his Bella, the same Bella he had seen that evening on their first date, dancing to Elvis Presley.

"How are you feeling" he asked after an eternity of drowning in her saphire pools.

She shrugged and bit her lip.

"Dumb"

Her eyes slowly glazed and her bottom lip quivered. He sat down beside her on the bed and wrapped his arms around her, careful not to tug on her IV. She sobbed against his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry" she sniffled. "I've messed up everything"

He held her tighter.

"No" he whispered. "Life just took a turn for chaos for a while"

It made her smile and she looked up into his dark, golden streaked java eyes. He moved his hand down to touch her stomach and an insecure smile spread across his face.

"I haven't really grasped it quite yet" he said quietly. "I have this strange feeling…"

"What feeling?" she whispered and put her hand over his. They were still looking eachother in the eye.

"I… I'm not sure I'm ready to be a father…" he whispered and she bit her lower lip and nodded, turning away from him, but he gently grabbed her chin and turned her to face him again. "… but I don't think anyone really is. Not for the first time…" he swallowed nervously. "I feel scared, but also… I'm happy"

She smiled and a tear rolled down her cheek.

"I wanted to tell you by serving your coffee in a 'World's best daddy' mug"

He couldn't help but think of it and smile at the thought, but became serious for a moment and cleared his throat.

"Why did you drink if you knew?"

She sighed and shook her head.

"I don't know, it was just so hard for me to get a grasp of everything that was going on. This year I've been going through so things I never thought I would and I guess I was lost in my memories and nightmares…. And I was scared of admitting I was going to be a mother"

The last word echoed through her mind. She was going to be a mother and the love of her life was the father. The family of her dreams were coming true and she had been so close to shredding it to pieces.

"So…" he began and bit his lip nervously. "We're keeping her right?"

Bella raised her eyebrow.

"Her?" she chuckled. He smiled.

"I have a feeling it's a girl"

Bella nodded slowly.

"I hope so"

At that moment they both realised there was no way of being sure if the baby would make it. There was a good prognosis so far, but from what they understood, it wasn't certain the baby's heart would handle the drugs and stress. Reid swallowed.

"You should rest"

Bella nodded and Reid helped her crawl under the sheets and tucked her in.

"I love you" he whispered as he kissed her lips softly.

"I love you" she replied and gently traced his face with her fingers.

**So, what do you think? I think this is a better way of continuing the story. Let me know by reviewing :)**


	18. Chapter 18

" _Fought in a battle, but nobody won  
Left ourselves a mountain to be overcome  
You can't run away, the past is said and done  
I need us to carry on"_

- Fall again by Michael Jackson

Reid went back home and finally got some was exhausted.

The sheets were perfectly warm and Reid fell asleep immediatly. He had expected to be dreaming or having nightmares, but it was all dark and peaceful, and nine hours later he woke up, as the golden streaks from the sun his his skin.

He blinked a few times and let out a content sigh. It was a new day, a new beginning of something good.

He got up and turned the water on in the shower. He couldn't help but notice the stubble on his face as he passed the mirror, and reminded himself to shave after a long shower.

The hot water hit his skin, washing away the smell of hospital, dust and gunpowder. He washed his hair slowly, as he gathered his thoughts around everything.

_Should I ask Bella to move in with me?_

The thought made his heart jump, and he found himself imagening what it would be like. He liked the idea… He liked it alot.

His muscles relaxed from the warmth soaking through his skin and he wondered if he had ever felt so refreshed before.

In two days Bella could leave the hospital. He would bringher home, himself, he thought. He would try his hardest to make her happy and he would make sure she and the baby were safe.

As he stepped out from the shower and wiped the mirror clean from steam, he looked at himself differently. He, Spencer Reid had something so much more important than books and knowledge now. Something even more important than the job he would have sacrificed anything for. He had a girlfriend, a person he loved more than anything, and she was more special to him than any of the past flirts he had experienced. He loved this girl. For real, and she was carrying his child. It was everything a human being could ask for.

He shaved and got dressed in a potato brown sweater and black pants, quickly put on his Converse sneakers and went to pay Bella a visit at the hospital.

A nurse was changing the gauze by Bellas lower ribs when Reid got there. He waved a little and couldn't help but frown as he saw her grit her teeth as the gauze had stuck to the wound a bit.

"I'm going to use a wet pad to see if it will be removed a little easier" the nurse told her softly and walked over to the sink.

"Good morning, sweetie" Bella said and he leaned over to give her a gentle, quick kiss.

"Morning, beautiful" he said with a blush. "How are you?"

The nurse came back and put the wet pad on the gauze that covered the bullet wound.

"I didn't sleep very well, Either it hurt or it itched or both" Bella said. "but there's nothing I can do about it so..." The nurse took a new, dry pad and drenched it in alcohol before she pressed it against the gauze. "Fu-damn!" Bella clenched her jaw as the alcohol was absorbed by the gauze and made contact with her wound.

"Sorry, hun" the nurse said and began to remove it all again. The gauze was now easy to get rif off and the nurse cleaned the wound before she put a new gauze on there. The nurse got up and left and Reid took her seat.

"Have you had breakfast?" he asked. She sighed and shook her head.

"I'm not hungry"

Reid licked his lips and lened in, letting his elbows rest on his knees.

"You have to eat"

"I know... I know, just, not right now. I'll have something later. I think it's the IV, it makes me feel sick"

Reid gave her a sympathetic smile.

"Well you were shot near the stomach, so it's not that surprising. It's a very delicate area. It's hard to believe, since the stomach has acid in it, but it's really a sensitive organ"

Bella was glad that the Reid she first fell in love with was back.

"There you are" she said softly and gently stroke his cheek with her hand. He just smiled and then cleared his throat.

"Uhm, I was thinking that... maybe you could... w-will you move in with me?"

He had a lump of nervousness in the pit of his stomach. She lit up and gave him a bright smile.

"Really?" she said happily. "Wow, yeah!" She hugged him and planted a big kiss on his cheek. "I'm so happy you asked me that"

He smiled and she leaned back again to look him in the eyes.

"Me too, I mean eventually we could buy a house with a yard and a tree where I can put a swing, and –"

"Spence" she interrupted. "One step at the time". She smiled. "I have some news too"

"Oh?"

He could see excitement in her eyes and wondered what it could be.

"Well, at first I was scheduled for a rutine check up and ultrasound next Tuesday, but the doctor told me someone had changed their appointment of the day so I could take it if I wanted to"

Wow. He was taken by surprise. Even though he very well knew she was pregnant, it was hard to graps and he fact that he would be able to get it confirmed by a midwife and be able to see it on a screen made him happy and excited... and terrified.

"Wow that's... When?" he asked, not quite sure how to react.

"Eleven" she said and looked up at the clock above the door. "So in an hour and a half".

He couldn't resist smiling at her when she looked so happy, but he was nervous and unsure of how to behave, how to feel.

"I just... Does it scare you a bit?" he stuttered and let his fingers glide back and forth over her knee. She gave him a soft look and shrugged.

"Yeah, I do... but everyone does, it's all so new and it'll change our lives forever".

He nodded and for a moment they just sat there in silence. After a while he cleared his throat.

"I like Kaylee or Aimee" he said with a twich at the sides of his mouth. Bella giggled.

"What if it's a boy?" she asked. He shrugged.

"I haven't really thought about it, what do you think?"

She bit her lip as she thought about it for a second.

"I like Aden... or maybe Devin"

He nodded with a face that said he was considering it.

"I still believe it's a girl though"

Bella giggled and gave him a playful slap on the arm.

"You're just dreaming of the day you can sneak up on a boy pretending your armed and tell him he better think again about how to behave when he's dating a girl who's dad is a fed"

The thought made Reid chuckle.

"What do you mean 'pretend' to be armed?" he said with a wink. "You'd probably run after them in fluffy, pink slippers and robe with a shotgun pointed at their backsides"

They laughed at the thought of it.

"You make me sound like that crazy blonde from _My name is Earl_" Bella giggled. "Well I need to go to the bathroom before the nurse will come and get me... us".

Reid let her lean on him as she slowly got up and shuffled her feet to the bathroom.

Bella laid on the gurney and Reid sat in a chair next to her, nervously tapping the floor with his foot. They were waiting for the midwife to return. She had taken some tests and done a internal examination, wich Bella had found very uncomfortable. Reid hadn't quite known how to act in that situation, so he had babbled about statistics of how important the examination really was. It hadn't helped and he didn't really blame her for it.

The midwife came back with the results of the tests. She sat down and looked between them both. She kind of looked like the character of Big Momma, but she had a warm, reassuring smile.

"Well, let's start by mentioning that the tests looks fine, the risk of Downs Syndrome is very low, you are perfectly healthy considering everything you've been through" the midwife said. Bella exhailed in relief and Reid was holding his breath.

"That's great"

The midwife grabbed a bottle of blue gel.

"If you could roll up your shirt a little bit, I'll put some gel on your belly here... I'll make sure to avoide your bandaid there" she said as she poured some gel on Bella's belly. Bella hissed by surprise at how cold the gel was.

"Now I'm not sure I can tell yet, but would you like to find out the sex of the child?" the midwife asked. Bella and Reid looked at eachother, unsure.

"No, we'll wait" Bella said and swallowed hard. She was getting nervous. The midwife nodded and moved the control slowly across Bella's belly.

"Let's see here" the Midwife mumbled and pressed some buttons on the keyboard. All of a sudden a noise filled the room and Reid, again, found it hard to breathe. It was a watery, sort of airy thumping. "There's the heartbeat" the Midwife explained and Bella turned her head to look at Reid with a certain glow in her eyes. She smiled. He had been for a while, but hadn't noticed it himself. The midwife clicked some buttons and frowned at the screen. It got Bella a little concerend. The midwife turned the screen towards them and moved the control down a little bit more. There it was. Their child on the screen. Even if they knew that the baby would've developed most of it's limbs and organs at 13 weeks, it came as a surprise to them that it actually looked like a baby, and it seemed to be sucking it's thumb.

"That's your child" the midwife said and sighed. "I don't want to make you worried, it could be nothing, but he or she is not moving as much as I would like"

Her words got Reid really worried and he swallowed hard.

"I'm going to try making him or her a bit cranky now, but..." the midwife placed her hand on Bellas lower belly and pressed gently, while moving her hand in a circular motion. "... it will make them move a bit to get away and that's what we want".

The baby moved it's legs and the midwife smiled.

"Maybe he or she is just a little tired. You shouldn't worry about it, just take it easy. Do not exhaust yourself before we're sure your baby's stabile"

It scared Bella to hear those things and all she could do was nod lightly. Reid was chewing on his lip.

"But, the heart is working ok?" Bella asked nervously.

The midwife sighed.

"I can tell you this much, you should stick to what your doctor told you. There is a risk, but for now I can't see anything wrong and it's beating nicely".

Bella nodded and looked over at Reid. He had the same concerned expression on his face.

The midwife took some pictures for them of the ultrasound and wiped the gel off Bella's belly. With the pictures in a tight grip, Bella sat down in the wheelchair they had used to get there and Reid helped her back to her room.

She was going to stay there for ten days so they could observe her bullet wound and control the toxin level in her blood.

**There, I've changed this and the previous chapter and I likte it this way better. Let me know what you think! R&R**


	19. Chapter 19

"_Birds flying high, you know how I feel._

_Sun in the sky, you know how I feel._

_Breeze driftin on by, you know how I feel_

_It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me_

_And I'm feelin' good."_

-Feelin' Good by Nina Simone

-------

**2 weeks later**

"Honey, have you seen the other bag?" Bella asked as she entered the livingroom. Reid took a few minutes to study her long sleeved purple dress and thick, gray knitted socks that reached to her knees. He liked the way she dressed, even the times when people would say it got too crazy. He let the book rest in his lap and smiled at her.  
"How many things did you get?" he asked with a chuckle. Bella had been out shopping some new things for the appartment, and he had let her get what she wanted. She was going to spend more time at home anyway.

Bella shrugged.  
"Not that much, but I just…" she glanced over towards the corner. "… Aha!" she grabbed the large bag and giggled. "Never mind"

And then she was gone again. Reid shook his head and laughed to himself. He wondered if he would be able to recognize the bedroom when she was done in there.

The setting sun made the livingroom glow in a dark golden nuance and Reid let out a content sigh. It was Sunday. The ending of the best weekend in his life so far.

Bella had moved in on Friday, and in the beginning he had been watching her carefully, as Garcia had done before that, but Bella hadn't touched the alcohol available, and both Reid and Garcia knew they could trust her.

"Spencer, come see"

He bookmarked the page and left the comfortable leather couch.

"Coming" he replied and she met him outside the bedroom.  
"Tadaa"

It was a complete transformation. A good one too.

She had made the dull room look quite comfy and fresh with new bed sheets and curtains, even a plant at the window. The dark grey and light green details made the room look new.  
"Wow, it's really nice"

He wrapped an arm around her waist and she smiled.  
"I'm glad you like it. It's finally a bedroom in here"

Reid chuckled and looked down at her.  
"And what was it earlier?"

She shrugged.  
"A room with a bed"

She threw herself among the fluffy white sheets and sighed. Reid just looked at her with a smile twitching at the corners of his mouth. She was happy. It was like she had lived the most perfect life, never seen evil at all.

He climbed up next to her and studied her face. He knew there was no such thing as perfect, but he couldn't help but think she had a perfect face, truly.

"And now it's a pretty room… With a pretty girl in the bed" he said quietly and brushed his lips against hers before he kissed them softly. Her mouth was warm and he had missed kissing her. She giggled and closed her eyes. The magical sound of the windlass outside the window and the sun setting through the green linnen curtains created a warm harmony in the room and Bella smiled into the kiss.  
Reid pulled away slightly and looked at her with soft eyes.  
"What?" he asked quietly and she giggled. He had missed that giggle for weeks.

"I just try to remember when the shy, cute little genius became this sexy man who's mine and mine only" she said quietly and bit her lip with a twinkle in her eyes. He smiled and let his lips taste her salty, warm skin.

"Probably when I fell in love with you"

"Ooh, are we getting all fluffy and cute, Dr Reid?" she joked and ruffled his hair. It was that kind of perfect moment that almost made him ask her to be his wife, but he said nothing. For it was also a moment that could be destroyed easily.

"I have always been fluffy and cute… Well depending on which _fluffy_ you're talking about"

A warmth spread inside him as she smiled at his words. The fact that it was his words and no one elses that made her smile was gold to him.

She fingered on the top button of his shirt and sighed.  
"Damn stitches…"

He gave her a crooked smile and nodded.  
"Yeah…" he kissed her cheek softly. "But… it won't… hurt if I just… kissed you… a little" he said between kisses and she a soft chuckle escaped her lips.  
"It tickles"

He smiled to himself and supported himself on his elbow, as he ran his fingers along her soft skin at the side of her neck and cheek.

"What have you planned for tomorrow?" he asked. She chewed her bottom lip as she tried to remember.

"Hmm…. Oh, yeah I found a job and they want me to go over there and talk, like an interview but without the whole interviewing thingay"

He looked at her with raised eyebrows at the word 'thingay'.  
"I hope it works out alright. What kind of job is it?"

She smirked at him and he got even more curious.  
"Actually, they're looking for a makeup artist for a modeling agency"

He could tell she really wanted the job, and he was going to be supportive.  
"That's great, I really hope you get it"

She smiled again. _She smiled a lot today_.

"So…" she began and her eyes twinkled at him. "There's a good movie on TV in a few minutes"

Reid nodded thoughtfully.  
"Popcorn?"

"You read my mind"

She gave him a big kiss on the lips and got up, teasingly swaying her hips as she left the room.

_So, you're good at making popcorn, Spencer, deal with it._

**//Short but I felt a fresh new start was needed R&R :)**


	20. Chapter 20

_"Never opened myself this way  
Life is ours, we live it our way  
All these words I don't just say  
and nothing else matters_

_Trust I seek and I find in you  
Every day for us something new  
Open mind for a different view  
and nothing else matters"_

- Nothing else matters by Metallica

-------

The warmth of his body next to hers. The golden light from the lit candles. The soft leather of his couch. The scent of his skin… It was something about that scent that only he had. Faded cologne that she was sure could be the reflection of himself, strong wood, sweet vanilla and elegant cognac.

That moment was perfection to her. The candles hypnotized her somehow and gave her a few minutes to think, and without knowing it, smile to herself.

"Is it Johnny Depp or are you thinking about me?" Spencer asked. The fact that he had pretty much made a joke sent her back to reality. She repeated what he had said in her head, just to be sure she got it right.

"You look a bit like him, you know" she said. She could feel his chest vibrate as he laughed quietly.  
"Honey, I'm not looking anything like Johnny Depp"

She looked up at him and noticed he was grinning, but his eyebrows were raised, showing he didn't believe her.

"You do! When you haven't shaved for a while"

She smiled sincerely at him and he shook his head in disbilief.  
"Please, tell Morgan that, and make sure I can be present to see his reaction"

She sat up and kissed his lips softly.  
"I'll do that"

He gazed into her eyes for a few seconds, before he gave in to the kiss and wrapped his arm around her waist.

The music playing on TV seemed distant as Bella ran her hands down his back.

"Mm.. Bella, we… we can't…"

She opened her eyes and pulled away slightly.

"I know" she whispered. "But there are other ways…"

Her lips crashed onto his again and she kissed him wildly, as her hands tugged slightly at his long, brown hair. He let out a pleasant grunt, and was very close to just give in to temptation, but his mind was still working fine. He managed to pull away enough to speak.

"I don't want to hurt you"

"You won't"

Her eyes were glittering in the candlelight, and the long, silky hair made her look like an angel. He couldn't stop himself anymore.

"I'll be careful" he said softly. She smiled and leaned in closer to his neck.

"I know"

She had a way of turning him on that no one else had ever had. The way she placed kisses on his skin, finding the right places to nibble, just everything.

Shivers ran up his spine as she gently sucked on the sensitive skin below his ear and he placed his hands on her lower back.

Their lips met again and he gently lay her down on the couch. A soft grunt escaped her lips and her tongue began to explore his mouth.

-------

Reid entered the bulpen drousily, his eyes darker than usual and his head screaming for caffeine.

"Man, you look like shit" Morgan said as he approached the younger agent. Reid nodded.  
"Didn't get much sleep"

A smirk formed in Morgan's face.  
"Bella kept you awake, huh?"

Reid blushed slightly and cleared his throat.

"You could say that"

Morgan patted him on the back.

"Our lil' G man is growing up"

Reid ignored the comment and poured himself a nice hot cup of coffee and added twice as much sugar as someone would normally use. "How's she doing, by the way?"

Reid swallowed a large gulp of warm coffee before he answered, with an enthusiatic nod.  
"Great, she's got a job interview today. It's all getting better quite quickly"

He walked to his desk and glared at the large pile of files for a while, before he put his mug down and sighed.  
"Sometimes I wonder why we even bother with these files, when we only have a few minutes to work on them before there's a case…"

-------

Bella studied herself in the mirror for a while. The bright red lipstick matched her low heel boots and the marine blue coat fitted nicely around her form.

She grabbed her handbag and left the appartment, taking a deep breath of the chilly air as she headed towards her little bright yellow car.

She felt refreshed and glowing, even if she only got four hours of sleep that night.

The car reheated slowly, but her thin gloves made the steering wheel feel less uncomfortable to hold.

It was a ten minutes drive, and the large glass dorrs at the entrance welcomed her to the most minimalistic place she had ever seen. The only color they had there were a bouqet of pink roses in a glass vase.

She told the receptionist she was there and was asked to wait on the couch. The white, squeaky leather couch. She figured it was fake leather. It smelled like paint and was far from comfortable.

"Miss Garcia?"

A woman approached her and reached out her perfectly manicured hand to greet her. Bella shook her hand and gave the woman a smile. "I'm Sarah Montogne"

As she followed her to the office, she couldn't help but think about the extreme professionalism in her clothes. Bright white jacket, bright white trousers, bright white shirt and a silver necklace with a piece of turqoise hanging from it. The blonde curls looked fancy against the woman's dark skin. The whole place looked fancy. Maybe too fancy for Bella.

"Here we are"

The two women entered an equally pale office, but there was a twist to it that Bella hadn't expected. It was extremely big and the entire wall up front was just a grand window.

On the floor stood two small golden couches and under the glass coffee table lay a zebra skin.

The woman asked her to sit down. Bella got nervous.

"So, Belinda…" The woman sat down on the opposite couch with a notepad in her hands. She was still smiling like a goof. "I have checked up on you, and it seems you were very successful in Chicago…"

_Oh, she's done. Time to speak._

"I like to do my absolute best at work and it worked out well" Bella said and tried to smile like miss Montogne, but it could never be that fake. The woman nodded.  
"I like that. Now, tell me what made you quit your job?"

"_He's going to burn us alive" she yelled, starting to panic as the red light of the burning carpet in her hallway lit up the appartment. He stared at it in shock.  
"Who? The unsub?"_

"_Yes" Bella said and typed a numer on her phone. "Penny, help! He set the place on fire, we can't get out"_

_Bella began to cry and sat down on the floor. Reid quickly put his pants on and ran to the door, closing it._

"_Get in the bathroom now, Bella, come here" he said and opened the bathroom door. He grabbed the phone from her. "Sit down in the shower and turn the water on"_

Bella cleared her throat as the last words still echoed in her head.

"There was a fire and it destroyed everything. I had to move inwith my cousin here in Virginia"

The woman looked at her with an expression of pity.  
"Awe, I'm so sorry"

"That's alright… It's in the past now"

Miss Mologne glanced down at her notepad.

"I have to tell you, Belinda, your resume looks very good and I am veryinterested in having you working with us"

Bella didn't know what to say. It was a well paid job, very well paid, and even if the atmosphere was not like her at all… It was a well paid job!

"Wow, I'm so glad you think so" Bella said and flashed a smile. Miss Mologne smiled back.  
"Now, there are a few things that comes with the job at our company that we all have to do…"

Bella got a little nervous.

"A-alright?"

"Our biggest sponsor and face out for our girls, and also our buisness is the local club Papaya, have you heard about it?"

Bella reacted to the name.

"But… That's a strip club…"


	21. AN: Chapters re-written

Hey everyone!

I have re-written chapter 17 and 18 so check them out!

Don't forget to R&R

/Kimona


	22. Chapter 21

" _Somebody killed little Susie  
The girl with the tune  
Who sings in the daytime at noon  
She was there screaming  
Beating her voice in her doom  
But nobody came to her soon..._

_She lie there so tenderly  
Fashioned so slenderly  
Lift her with care  
Oh the blood in her hair..."_

- Little Susie by Michael Jackson

Bella marched out of the building boiling with anger and the feeling of being embarassed. She should've known it wasn't that easy to get the job of her dreams. Was it even legal what they were doing?

Her heels clicked as she walked down the pavement towards her car. _Why did I even put heels on..._

It was too hot, she was agitated, she was starting to look fat and her feet were swollen. Just the fact that she had stayed long enough to hear them explain to her that some people would pay twice as much for a pregnant girl made her want to claw someone's eyes out. She had always thought people would be a little extra nice and gentle towards pregnant women, but no, she was just 'getting trashier as she got bigger'.

She felt like crying and laughing at the same time, and she was hungry. She got in her car and decided to get a burger and a milkshake... and an ice cream... and extra fries...

The team were called to a case in Colorado and would be gone for who-knew-how-long. He got on the plane and called Bella a few minutes before take off.

"Hey babe" she said with a sigh. Reid frowned.

"Hey, a-are you okay?" he asked. Another sigh from her.

"Yeah, I just had a really bad day..."

_Damn. There was no time for them to talk about it._

"I'm sorry, Bella" he said. "I-I don't really have alot of time, we're going to Colorado in just a few minutes" he explained and fingered the file infront of him.

"The world's still full of psycho's, huh" she joked. He made a crooked smile.

"Yeah..."

"I'll miss you" she said longingly. He closed his eyes.

"I'll miss you too. I'll call you at the end of the day, okay?"

She sighed again.

"Ok... I love you, Spencer"

"I love you, Bella"

He waited for her to hang up before he put his phone down and felt someone sit down beside him.

"How's it going?"

It was JJ. Reid pinched his lips together with a frown.

"She said the day had been crappy and I didn't have time to talk about it" he said with a shrug. "I suppose she didn't get the job and she had really looked forward to that interview"

JJ nodded and put her hand on his knee.

"Don't worry, Spence. You're wasting those precious gray cells"

He smiled a little and leaned back.

"Actually, being worried or concerned about something has nothing to do with the so called gray cells, since it's the frontal lobe of your brain that controls your emotions. As a matter of fact, all cells are colorless, since color is just reflection of light"

She couldn't help but laugh.

"Oh, you're fine. Just fine"

Bella stood in front of the mirror and inspected her hair. She had just done some purple and turquoise streaks in her platinum mane. She combed it with her fingers and hummed. Her hair almost reacher her elbows by now and as she ran her fingers through it she couldn't help but looking at the little bulge that had formed on her belly. She slid her hands down her chest to touch it and looked at it through the mirror. Sometimes it just made her feel fat and ugly, but there were moments, like this one, where she liked it and thought it was beautiful.

"You're growing too fast" she said. "I'm going to get stretch marks"

She couldn't help but smile. It was one thing seeing her growing bump with a shirt on. Whenever she'd see herself without one, she was reminded on how close she had been to losing her child... Their child. The scar from the stitched up bullet wound was ugly and in the way of her living her fantasy of being a perfect mother.

She felt her stomach growl.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll feed you. Geez, we ate just an hour ago"

She walked into the kitchen and searched the fridge for a snack. A few minutes later, she was curled up on the couch with a blanket and a jar of peanut butter, eating it with a spoon. There was a re-run of Oprah on TV and this time it was about a little boy with cancer and Oprah (like she does) helped him make a dream come true. Bella didn't even hear what it was, she just cried and in between sobs she put a spoon full of peanut butter in her mouth.

"Oh Oprah" she sniffled. "You do this everytime, and still everytime it's just as amazing"

Her phone started vibrating on the table and she slowly picked it up. "Hello"

"Bella? Are you crying?" Reid asked, sounding concerned.

"She's done it again, Spencer" Bella sniffled and stuffed more peanut butter in her mouth. "Every time, can you believe it?"

He made some insecure mumbles.

"W-who? What?"

"Oprah"

She could hear him chuckle.

"Bella, you're eating chunky peanut butter while watching TV again, aren't you"

She sat down the jar on the coffee table.

"No" she lied. He chuckled again. "It's not me, right now it's the baby eating. I ate an hour ago and I'm still full"

"Actually peanuts are very rich in nutrients, for example, they're a good source of niacin, wich is good for both the brain and blood flow" he explained. She smiled.

"How's the case going?"

"Well..." he began. "We have the name, but not the guy"

She knew it was all he could say. She nodded.

"Okay, so you'll be home soon?"

"Hopefully" he said. "In a couple of days, I hope before the weekend"

"Sounds good" Bella said. "Be careful, okay"

"I'll try, you know I will" he said. "I love you".

"I love you too"

...

While the team strapped the bullet proof vests on, Hotch talked them through the proceidure of finding the victims and catching the unsub. The man they had hunted down was middle-aged, heavily built named George Anderson and had abducted at least four children between the ages of 4 and 8.

He would keep them at his house and watch them through a camera connected to his phone, making him able to watch their every move no matter where he was.

"Reid and JJ, you'll search the basement for the children. I'll take Prentiss and Morgan and search the rest of the house for Anderson" Hotch ordered. The clicking noise of them removing the safety mechanism on their guns pinched the air and they quietly sneaked onto Anderson's property from two directions, crouching, with their weapons in a tight grip.

Reid lifted his dark sunglasses slightly to peek through the window, before he signed to JJ it was clear to enter the house. Sneaking up to a side door, Reid leaned against the wall next to it, gun pointed at it, as JJ grabbed the handle and quietly opened it. There was no sign of Anderson near the door.

It was a large house and the two agents searched the first floor side by side as the rest of the team were doing the same on the opposide side of the building.

When they had cleared the area, JJ and Reid headed for the basement door. There was no light switch by the top of the stairs, and as they both pointed their guns down into the mass of darkness, they could feel their blood pulsating loudly in their ears, sweat pearls forming on their lips as they gently and as quiet as possible made their way down the stairs.

JJ tapped his arm twice with two fingers to ask him to cover her. He nodded, even though she couldn't see it and she let her hand slide along the wall to find the light switch. As she reached the few final steps, she found it and with hesitation, she turned it on.

The light was dim and almost greenish in color. The concrete walls were damp and had mold growing along the cracks. There were some old wooden furniture and a mattress in the corner. JJ recieved a call over the radio in her belt.

"We've got him"

The two agents quickly secured their guns and put them down. They walked further inside the basement and heard quiet sobs. They quickly reached for their flashlights and the sharp, white light hit the tiny forms of children crouching in the corner. Reid approached them with care as JJ responded to the radio call, telling Hotch they had found the children.

"It's okay, we're with the FBI" he said softly and reached out his hand. "You're safe now".

The little girl flung at him and wrapped her arms and legs around his slender form, as if she was scared to be forgotten down there. He stroke her hair and held her tight. Her skin and clothes were damp and dirty. She had been down there for three months. He knew she was 4 year old Linnea Warren.

With one arm around her in a safe grip, he reached out his free hand towards the other children and felt tiny fingers grip it. As a second child came out from the shadows, the light from the flashlight on his shoulder lit up a tiny form, lying down, back facing him. A dirty, purple dress covering the slim form and long, messy, strawberry blonde braid running down the back.

"JJ"

The female agent led the children away and in fragments of a second, Reid had turned the little girl on her back and quickly felt for a pulse below her jawline. Her eyes were half closed and she wasn't breathing. She was pale and her lips blue. He couldn't feel her pulse and immediatly started CPR.

"Come on" he begged as his mind flashed him images of the photos of her that they'd seen at her house. A freckled smile and clear, blue eyes. "Come on, Susie"

When the children had been taken care of, JJ returned and for a moment she didn't know what to say. She watched from the shadows and bit her lip.

"Spence..."

He was still pumping the little girl's chest, silently counting, before he blew into her mouth, and then back at pumping. He could feel her tiny ribs cracking under his fingers, making him close his eyes tight not to lose focus. His throat was hurting from frustration and sadness, still he didn't stop. JJ slowly approached him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Spence, she's gone"

His panting turned into frustrated sobs and he slowed down, his face glazed with sweat and strands of his hair plastered to his face from giving his all trying to save her. He leaned back and ran his fingers through his hair, hyperventilating as the lump in his chest throbbed with hurt. He slammed his fist into the cupboard standing next to him.

"Fuck!"

JJ kneeled next to him and rubbed his back.

"Let's get out of here" she said quietly and with her free hand she softly closed the girls eyes.


	23. Chapter 22

"_A middle finger to Death  
we walked over corpses  
and exposed our love,  
our rich inner life,  
but the tickets to heaven  
were sold out when we got there,  
and the price we paid  
to qualify as elite,  
was that we became like the others,  
we became like the others,  
we became like the others"_

Dom andra (The others) by Kent. Translated by me.

...

The team were quiet on the plane ride home. It had been a rough case for most of them, even if Prentiss seemed to handle it better than the rest of them.

Reid was sitting in the corner, looking out through the small, round window at the tiny houses and fields below them. It seemed to take forever for them to get back home.

He was jerked out of his haze by Hotch's voice next to him.

"Are you doing okay?"

Reid looked at his boss at the man sat down, holding his tie as he did so. Reid shrugged and a frown created lines across his forehead.

"I just can't get her out of my mind" Reid said quietly. "Her eyes will haunt me forever"

Hotch nodded softly and sighed.

"It's a part of what makes us human to get emotional" he explained. "It's when it doesn't get to you when you should worry"

Reid pressed his lips together and nodded, glancing over at Prentiss.

"It doesn't get to her" he said. Hotch raised his eyebrows.

"Oh, it does. She's just not affected in the same way. It's only natural for you to be more sensitive when a child passes, you're about to become a father"

It was weird for Reid to hear those words still, but Hotch's words made sense. Reid gave him a crooked smile.

"I can't wait to get back home"

Hotch chuckled, wich was something that rarely happened, but when he did, it was honest.

"Yeah, I know the feeling. I missed Jack's football practice and I'll have to make it up to him"

Those moments when the team were more family than co-workers were the best part of work and it made it easier to handle even the worst cases.

"Hotch... I really did everything I could, right?"

He looked up at him and into the pools of his soul. Hotch wasn't the kind of person to lie and was the one to go to if you wanted an honest answer. The older man nodded.

"She was gone before we even got there. You did more than anyone would have asked from you" Hotch told him. "You can't change the past, Reid"

Reid tilted his head back and sighed.

"I know... it just frustrates me that we caught the bad guy only a couple of hours too late"

Hotch gave him a comforting pat on the shoulder.

"You should rest while you can"

It made Reid laugh and reach for the soda can on the table.

"Oh, yes, I almost forgot I've got a hormonal monster waiting for me"

JJ's jaw dropped.

"Spence!"

He opened the can and raised his eyebrows at her, getting into a defensive mode.

"It's the truth and you know it" he joked. "Last time I spoke to her she was eating peanut butter straight from the jar, again, and cried her eyes out watching the Oprah Winfrey show"

JJ laughed and pointed at him.

"Oh, you just wait until she starts drinking from the jar of pickles or licking the car. Stranger things have happened"

He stared at her for a moment. Sure, there were stories about crazy pregnant women eating shoes and putting their head into the fridge just to smell it, but hearing a mother say it was a totally different story.

"Don't worry" Hotch began. "The day will come when you just stop asking and start realising it'll soon be over"

"Yeah and when you finally forget that, you'll find your kid with a spider or a cat turd in their mouth" JJ said with a shrug. Hotch laughed and they high fived, leaving Reid with his head spinning with other pictures he hoped would never return to his mind.

...

Reid unlocked the door and entered the dark hallway. He stopped for a second and looked around before he closed the door behind him. It was silent, appart from the metallic tinkle from his keys. From what he could see, the whole appartment was dark, appart from glowing candles scattered around the place, on shelves and furniture.

"Wow" he gasped and walked further into the appartment.

"You're home!"

Bella threw herself at him in an excited embrace and he managed to catch her. Still a bit surprised he smiled and they shared a quick, but loving kiss.

"Where did you find all these candles?" he asked. She smiled, biting her lip.

"Well, we ran out of mayo, so I picked up some candles while I was at the store" she explained. "Isn't it cozy?"

She spread her arms out and twirled down the hallway towards the livingroom. Oh, how he had missed that girl.

"Bella, remember what the doctor said" he begged. She pouted and reached out, grabbing his hand with both of hers.

"I have been sitting for a week all by myself, I was close to going crazy" she said and dragged him over to the couch. "I missed you. We missed you"

She rubbed her belly instinctivly and he couldn't help but smile.

"I missed you too"

He leaned in and kissed her lips softly. He could tell she had been eating strawberries by the sweet taste of her lips. They slowly pulled away and he continued. "I'm just going to have a quick shower and then we can order some take out"

She nodded.

"You hit the shower, I'll order chinese"

He smiled and gazed into her eyes for a minute. They were even more beautiful in the candlelight, making her saphire pools streaked with gold.

He got up from the couch and headed for the bathroom. He flicked the lightswitch on the wall and closed the door, turning the shower on before he threw the content of his go-bag into the laundry hamper and stripped out of his own clothes.

He studied his reflection in the mirror, the steam slowly turning him invisible. He let out a deep sigh and entered the shower. The hot water made him relax and close his eyes. It was like the he was breathing a different kind of air whenever he was home after a case. He could leave everything behind and no longer be Supervisory Special Agent Doctor Spencer Reid. Within these walls he was just Spencer Reid, Belinda Garcia's boyfriend. A bookworm with an eidetic memory... and right now a longing for something to eat and then curl up with Bella on the couch in their pajamas, enjoying a cup of hot coco with both marshmallows and whipped cream.

He lathered his hair and body slowly, letting the warm water soften his stiff muscles. He could sense the sun had burned him slightly on his face and arms.

He rinsed his hair, palms pushed up against the tiled wall as he leaned forward, trying to clear his mind of the images from the day. He imagined them slowly getting flushed down the drain, before he turned the water off and stepped out of the shower grabbing a towel on his way out of the bathroom.

**AN: It's not my longest chapter, but it's Halloween and I plan on watching The Nightmare before Christmas with my fiance, so this will have to do.**

**Please R&R**

**Happy Halloween everyone! :)**


	24. Chapter 23

**AN: Adult themes in this chapter, just sayin'. Please check out the poll on my profile, I'm leaving the fate of their baby in your hands :P**

"_Baby my ride is gonna take you high  
Straight down Rocky Road  
And then we'll hit the sky  
Tonight, oh yes tonight  
Gonna steer us steady down Lovers Lane  
Up to Seventh Heaven  
And then back again  
Up to Seventh Heaven and then back again  
Tonight"_

- Baby Doll by Top Cats

...

That night he let everything go and cleared his mind completely as she kissed him softly in the candle light. Her tongue traced his lips and he sucked it gently. His hands painted her every curve. Her skin was hot and he could feel she had goosebumps on her arms. A good sign.

Her hands went to his hair and she buried her fingers in those chestnut locks. The golden light flickered on her face and little pearls of sweat made her skin sparkle. He placed wet kisses down her chin and throat and she leaned her head back, her breathing fast and heavy. He kissed down her chest and cupped her breasts as he teased her nipples with his mouth, one at a time, licking, sucking, pinching them, loving to hear her gasps of pleasure.

Her hands slid down his back and she dug her fingernails into his skin. It made him smile against her skin and he moved further down, kissing her stomach, trailing down and giving attention to each of her thighs with his lips.

He watcher her bit her lip and close her eyes as he opened her folds and teased her with his tongue, moaning against her hot, sweet flesh.

As his tongue was giving her clit it's full attention, he slid two fingers into her wetness and she moaned in pleasure. He loved feeling her tighten her muscles around his fingers as he moved them in rythm with his tongue.

"Oh, Spence" she moaned so silently it came out a whisper. He smiled against her and sped up his movements slightly. She panted and grabbed the end of the bed, her nails digging into her palms.

He watched her thrust against his mouth, her whole body trembling as moaned higher and higher. He pulled out his fingers and crawled ontop of her, facing her.

"Oh you tease" she almost scolded. He smirked and leaned in, kissing her deeply. She could taste herself and it turned her on even more, her nerv endings burning with lust and frustration. She nibbled on his lower lip and moved her hands to his back, tearing at it from the neck down. He moaned and could feel his own member was hard and throbbing and he couldn't hold back anymore. He grabbed her thighs and pulled her down towards him and she wrapped her legs around him. He slid in her slowly, wanting the sensation to last forever. A soft groan escaped his lips as he felt her inner muscles wrap tight around him. He leaned in and kissed her messily as he thrusted into her.

They both moaned into the kiss and he could feel her nails dig deeper into his skin.

"Fuck, I've missed you baby" she squealed and he rested his forehead against hers.

"I've missed you to" he panted. "Hell I've missed seeing you like this"

They gazed into eachother's eyes, moving faster and faster until she rolled her eyes back in ecstasy and let out a loud squeal. He felt her shudder and her muscles tighten around him. He leaned his head back, not wanting to give in yet. He blew away the drops of sweat that had lingered on his lip and moved her legs over his shoulders as he pounded into her hard, getting goosebumps all over his pale skin. He could see her grab the head of the bead again and buckle against him as she screamed out again and he couldn't hold back anymore. He shuddered and a deep groan escaped his throat as he came inside her.

He panted hard as he rested his head against her shoulder. She was panting just as hard and he lifted his head to look at her. He couldn't help but chuckle as he saw her pleased smile and glistening eyes.

He kissed her softly before he rolled off of her to lay on his back.

"Oh God, I love you" she said and rolled onto her side towards him.

"Spencer's just fine" he said and it made her laugh and playfully slap him on the chest. "I love you too"

Bella pulled the covers over them and sighed in content. Reid suddenly remembered something.

"How did it go at the intervju, by the way?"

She wrinkled her nose.

"Everything seemed just perfect until they said we also had to strip tease for the boss and probably sleep with him too" she said. Reid stared at her with raised eyebrows.

"What? You said no right?"

It made her laugh.

"Duh!" she said and threw her pillow at him.

He chuckled and shook his head at her.

"You should take it easy anyway and focus on you and the baby" he said and supported himself on his elbow. "How's she doing in there?"

Bella smiled and her hands went to stroke her belly. He could see a flash of concern on her face.

"I wish he or she would start moving more" she said. "I know it's probably nothing to worry about, like they said, but it bothers me"

Reid smiled and let his hand rest ontop of hers.

"Maybe she's just calm in her persona, like me"

Bella nodded slowly. He could tell she was worried and the midwife had specificly told them not to get her stressed, so he pulled her towards him and she snuggled into his neck. He placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Don't worry, it's still early. Some women don't feel their women move until they're twenty plus weeks"

She remained quiet and soon they both drifted off to sleep.

...

Bella woke up to the scent of freshly made coffee. She slowly opened her eyes and glanced over at the vintage alarm clock on her nightstand. Twenty past nine.

She yawned and stretched out her limbs like a cat before she grabbed one of Reid's t-shirts and pulled it over her head.

As she entered the kitchen she found Reid by the stove plating up scrambled eggs and bacon.

"Mmm, smells delicious" she said and took a seat at the table. He glanced over at her and smiled.

"Good morning, I hope you're hungry" he said and placed a plate infront of her before he poured her some orange juice.

"Constantly these days" she said and pot a fork full of eggs in her mouth. "I've missed this"

He sat down opposite her and wrapped his fingers around a steaming mug of coffee.

"Bacon and eggs?" he asked with a smirk and took a sip of his coffee. She gave him a playful glare.

"That too, but what I meant was us having breakfast together"

He nodded and watched her drink from her juice. He loved the way she loved in the morning, in his t-shirt with her hair frizzy and yesterday's make up slightly smudged. He took another sip of his sweetened coffee and cleared his throat.

"I was thinking of clearing out the library today... You know, for the baby"

Her eyes flickered as she looked into his pools of hazel.

"Where will you keep all your books?" she asked. He smiled.

"I know them all by heart anyway. I'll just keep a few"

It touched her heart. She knew how much that room meant to him, his own little bubble where he could escape into the world of Edgar Allan Poe and Agatha Christie. She gave him a glistening smile.

"It'll make a perfect nursery"


End file.
